If you are reading this, you have probably caught your boyfriend off guard, grinning while texting someone.
Many women like you are concerned about what their boyfriends do on their phones. And we totally get it. When you are romantically and emotionally involved with someone, it is fairly normal to have some degree of insecurity.
This can be either because you were hurt in the past or because you are jealous. Or your boyfriend is exhibiting uncanny behavior that gives you good reason to question what’s going on.
But that is not the main concern here. The problem is why your boyfriend would do something like this in the first place.
Let’s find out.
The Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Talks to Other Women
Your gut feeling is there for a reason, and certain instances can make you believe your notion that your boyfriend is cheating on you.
It is instinctive and normal for men to be in a relationship but still talk to other women. Some men do this out of habit, while some men actually want to leave the relationship.
Moreover, social media apps offer men the means to not only look for potential partners but also hide their activity. Your boyfriend could use smart ways to hide their tracks, such as creating a fake profile to add a layer of anonymity.
But the question is, why will he do it?
Let us look at some of those reasons.
1. They’ve Lost Interest in You
When two people fall in love, everything happens quickly. Maybe it’s a rush of emotions or the connection both of us feel.
Wishing to hang out with your love interest is natural and mutual. However, with time, the infatuation wears off for some couples.
Your boyfriend distancing himself from you is a big tell-tale sign that he has lost interest in you. It can be evident by either him responding to you late or finding excuses when you ask to meet up randomly.
Previously, he may have started a conversation and replied to you within seconds. But if he is taking hours to respond, then something is up.
Regardless of the relationship, you may notice that text messages, phone calls, and even quirky emojis are not coming as frequently as they did before.
If you notice a decline in how he talks to and reaches out to you, then he is probably spending time with someone else.
2. They Have Low Self-Esteem
Your boyfriend could be someone you have fallen in love with over a few weeks or a month.
It can take a moment to learn about his likes and dislikes. But it takes a while to discover their emotional attributes or things he may not share openly.
Low self-esteem may cause him to struggle with his thoughts, opinions, insecurities, and doubts, which can impact the relationship.
Furthermore, this feeling can stem from myriad reasons, such as abuse, hurt from past relationships, or being bullied.
Men with low self-esteem often grapple with unrealistic beauty standards. Unrealistic body types depicted on social media and in movies may also contribute to your boyfriend feeling inadequate.
Even if you see potential in the relationship, the anxiety and stress from low self-esteem may prevent your boyfriend from settling down.
If you are not expressing intimate desires towards him, he may think you are not attracted to him. Apart from self-critique, he can get jealous of you, criticize you, and develop sexually coercive behavior.
3. They’re Looking for Excitement
The way men fall in love is not the same as women do. Many experts have categorized lust, attraction, and attachment as three stages.
You need to identify if your boyfriend is just driven by sexual gratification, is either attracted to you and craves your attention, or is looking for long-term love.
Just rewind and see what happened at the start of the relationship.
What did he do to win you over?
He probably sent you messages throughout the day, saying he was thinking about you. He would also send you gifts and flowers and things you like.
But a lot may have changed since those early days. He texts you less and does not surprise you with gifts.
Maybe you have become busy due to your career and have less time for lengthy conversions and frequent dates.
Meanwhile, the boyfriend may look for more potential partners who can match their vibe and promise an exciting and intense relationship.
Note that every new relationship comes with curiosity bait that most men are willing to take.
4 They’ve Always Been a Cheater
If you suspect your boyfriend is talking with other women on social media or phone. Then, it can be totally out of instinct instead of being out of character.
Men who often cheat are usually experts in being secretive and do not show the obvious signs that their partner can pick. However, there are signs you can look out for.
He might not be comfortable with you perusing their phone and will snatch it if you hold it longer. Even while showing you something, he won’t ever hand the phone over to you.
It is hard to pry away from your phone these days. However, it is something to be wary of if your boyfriend constantly texts someone, even with you around.
If you ask your boyfriend about his day and plans for the weekend, he may give you a one-word answer. His tight-lipped responses may indicate that he is hiding something.
Seeing your boyfriend suddenly wearing stylish and colorful clothes to the office can indicate a co-worker with whom he has fallen head over heels.
5. He Has Commitment Issues
It is natural that after some point in the relationship, you would like to make it a long-term commitment. However, your boyfriend may see it differently.
He would be happy in the current arrangement and persuade you that what they have right now is bliss.
You can try it a few times, but getting a negative response every time is odd. It shows the boyfriend’s inability or unwillingness to think about the next relationship stage.
A fear of commitment is another tell-tale sign that the relationship has a bleak future.
Apart from not discussing the future, you must also notice how often your boyfriend appears distant and withdrawn.
If he has a history of short-term relationships, this behavior will help you familiarize yourself with the pattern and his reluctance.
A person with trouble with commitment will not readily open up even after months in a relationship.
Emotional vulnerability may stop him from becoming intimate. Yes, the interactions will be light-hearted and casual, but they will never touch deeper feelings.
How to Confirm Your Suspicions
Seeing the signs match up with your boyfriend’s behavior can be scary. However, sometimes, signs can be too good to be true, and other times, you may feel overly paranoid.
Catching your boyfriend talking to another girl is not as simple as it sounds.
Modern technology and social media apps offer dozens of ways for men to cover their tracks. According to stats, one in five users uses social media for dating and flirting.
In addition, instant messaging (IM) apps offer end-to-end encryption and myriad features to keep conversations between two people private and secure.
Apart from physically catching your boyfriend texting or making a call, there are limited options. But monitoring apps is the best solution to catch your boyfriend cheating on social media. And this is where you can take the help of Xnspy software for monitoring social media.
Xnpsy runs in complete secrecy and collects information on what they type, who they message on what app, what apps they use, where they have been, and how long they use their phones.
Once you notice an increase in the tell-tale signs of your boyfriend acting strangely and potentially talking to another woman, install Xnspy on their smartphone. This app will provide intricate details about your boyfriend’s secretive behavior and interactions on social media.
Once installed, you can access the Xnspy dashboard through your phone or even from a browser on your laptop. The features that can help you collect the evidence include
● Social Media Monitoring
The dozen or so social media apps offer a world of opportunity for men to interact with women either for causal or purposeful intent.
Your boyfriend can easily lose interest in you and start looking for prospects on apps such as Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat, as well as dating apps such as Tinder.
Xnpsy offers tools such as screen recorder and screenshots that can track their activity on all the apps. These features reveal everything from your boyfriend’s social media profile to their posts, comments, messages, and media exchanges.
He may even clear the messages and media exchange on his end, fearing that you might even come across them by accident. However, the screen recorder and screenshot ensure that each of their movement and activity is recorded and uploaded to a secure server.
● IM Monitoring
The Xnspy’s IM monitoring will uncover all your boyfriend’s open and secret interactions on instant messaging apps. By opening your dashboard, you can view chat logs of apps such as WhatsApp, Facebook, Tinder, Line, and Telegram.
The app gives you access to all the sent and received messages and even those that are deleted. You can even view the photos and videos or any other files that are shared.
The end-to-end encryption makes it difficult to determine what is being discussed. However, Xnpsy uses modern tools and algorithms to ensure you get the complete picture.
The Way Forward
When you are deeply in love with someone, you want the relationship to have a fruitful meaning. Often, you also ignore the tell-tale signs of cheating and believe they may just be a figment of your imagination.
Maybe you are emotionally vested in the relationship and do not want to end it. However, in this modern age, you need to question why your boyfriend avoids discussing the future or hides the phone while talking or texting with someone.
Even if you find incriminating proof, you still seek conclusive evidence to confront your boyfriend. Xnspy can help you gather all the details to catch your boyfriend cheating on social media.
Openly talk with your boyfriend, ask him why, and tell him what you want. If you are unsatisfied with his answers, it is better to let go and find another man who truly appreciates and values your worth.
I’m Sarah Koch, and I work as a Relationship Coach in Austin, Texas. I’ve been doing this job for more than 9 years. I studied Sociology and Counseling Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. My main goal is to help people create strong and happy relationships. I also wrote a book called “Irresistible Texting” to share my ideas on how to have better relationships through texting.
