Dating can be really confusing. You meet someone cool and start hanging out. Then suddenly, they call you “love” or “babe”.
What does that mean? Are they saying they like you romantically? Or are they just using a friendly nickname?
It’s easy to overthink and drive yourself crazy wondering if this person has real feelings for you or not.
As a coach, I’ve seen so many people stressing over mixed signals like this.
But don’t worry, I’m here to help! We’ll look at what it actually means when a girl calls you “love”.
I’ll give you the honest truth, plus some funny and helpful advice. Get ready for some real talk!
The Mixed Signals Epidemic
First things first, we need to address the elephant in the room: mixed signals are the loudest form of communication in modern dating. The number of people who say one thing but mean another is staggering.
When a girl calls you “love”, it absolutely could mean she has romantic feelings for you. But in today’s bizarre dating culture of situationships, open relationships, and “keeping things caj”, it’s equally likely she’s just being friendly and affectionate.
The harsh reality? Many people are terrified of labeling things as relationships these days. We’ve become so commitment-phobic that we utter every sweet nothing except spelling out our true intentions. And in our pursuit of keeping things breezy and casual, we end up sending blubbering hot messes of mixed signals that make zero sense.
Case in point: I know a girl who literally called every single person she interacted with “babe”, from her Uber driver to the mailman. Was she in love with humanity as a whole? Doubtful. It was just her way of being quirky and flirtatious in casual conversation.
Am I saying this behaviour is acceptable or advisable? Hell no. Lack of communication leads to hurt feelings and one too many drunken rants about “what are we even DOING here?!”. I’m simply pointing out that in today’s climate of non-committal hookup culture, you can’t take a nickname as deep confirmation of anything.
But Sarah, you protest. What if she only calls ME love and her other friends get “dude” or “homie”? That’s got to be a sign, right?
Context is Key – How to Read Between the Lines
In short, yes… context is critically important here. Which is why I always recommend taking a hard look at how she uses this term when addressing you specifically:
Is it flirtatious, or more of a platonic, friendly vibe? If she says it in a cutesy, drawn-out “loooooove” with a wink and hair toss, she’s probably flirting. But if she throws out a casual “what’s up love?” reminiscent of how she’d greet her buddies, don’t read too much into it.
Does she say it in private settings only, or in front of others too? A nickname used in private could mean more than the same one she uses when chatting with the group. But if she calls everyone “love” regardless of the situation, it’s likely just part of her vocabulary.
How does her body language read? This ties into the friends vs. flirting debate. Is she giving you prolonged eye contact, finding excuses to make physical contact, playing with her hair, etc? Those are flirting signals. Does she seem completely unfazed, like when talking to a platonic buddy? That points to the nickname being meaningless.
How long have you known her and what’s the nature of your relationship? If this is someone you recently met and don’t know well yet, “love” is probably being used lightly. But if you’ve been close friends for years and she recently started using it, that could indicate her developing deeper feelings.
At the end of the day, context is your best friend in dissecting if she really means something by calling you “love”. Don’t torture yourself trying to overanalyze every tiny detail in isolation. Look at the bigger picture – her vibe, your history, the setting, the way she treats you overall. That’s where you’ll find your answer.
If You Like It, Put a Label On It
Okay, so let’s say you take stock of the situation and come to the conclusion that this girl does indeed have feelings for you that go beyond the platonic. She’s smitten, you’re interested too, and the nickname feels like it carries some romantic weight.
What do you do next?
Here’s my advice: put on your big kid pants and have the conversation. I know, I know… the mere thought of “defining the relationship” makes most modern adults quake with fear. But if you think there’s potential for something serious, it’s time to rip off the ambiguity band-aid.
Don’t force it if the timing doesn’t feel right. But when you sense a lull in the flirtatious energy, take a deep breath and say something like:
“Hey, I really enjoy spending time with you and I’ve noticed you’ve started calling me ‘love’ recently. I’m wondering if that’s your way of expressing that you might want to be more than just friends? Because I’d be totally interested in exploring that if you are. But no pressure either way – I value our connection and honesty is important to me.”
Vulnerability is a powerfully attractive trait. By putting yourself out there, asking for clarity, and affirming that you’re okay with either answer, you’re demonstrating maturity. This takes the pressure off and opens up a dialogue about getting on the same page.
If she’s interested in taking that next step, great! You’ve kickstarted something exciting while also setting the stage for open communication (crucial for any healthy relationship). And if she wasn’t intending anything romantic by the nickname? No harm, no foul – at least you know where you stand now.
Facing rejection might sting for a bit, but I promise it’s better than lingering in limbo, overthinking every micro-interaction while your mind plays endless games of “What If?”. Walk tall, my friends – putting yourself out there is a superpower.
Friend Zone: Danger Zone?
Now for those of you who face the dreaded “just friends” revelation after bringing things up: First off, I’m sorry. That always stings, even if you thought you were prepared for it. Secondly, you deserve a high-five for having the courage to go for it – that’s how you live without regrets.
But I also need to remind you of an underrated truth: being friends with someone you have feelings for isn’t the end of the world! Sure, it’s not ideal and it will probably hurt like hell for a little while. But real friends who care about each other can overcome that awkward hump.
I’m living proof of this. In my early 20s, I harbored major unreciprocated feelings for one of my closest guy friends. When I finally sucked it up and told him, the relief was immense, even though he didn’t feel the same way. The friendship did hit a rocky patch for a few months, but eventually the discomfort faded.
Fast forward 7 years and that platonic bond is one of the longest, most cherished parts of my life. My feelings shifted, I met my person, and our friendship evolved into something even more beautiful and lasting.
So don’t be too quick to toss a friendship away, especially if she insists nothing has to change between you. Give yourself some space to process the sting, then ask if she’d be open to preserving what you have – ideally without the cutesy nicknames to start. Protecting your heart is wise, but don’t shut out potential for an amazing friend just because the romantic dream didn’t pan out.
The Secret Superpower of Direct Communication
If I could leave you all with one parting message, it would be this: develop a zero tolerance policy for mixed signals and mixed messages. Sure, sussing out subtle cues and social nuances is an inevitable part of the dating dance. But engaging with people who blatantly speak in codes and keep you perpetually guessing? Hard pass.
Mixed signals are the cancerous tumor of unhealthy, childish communication. They breed insecurity, confusion, and frustration. Worst of all, they allow people to keep you paralyzed in limbo so they can have their cake and eat it too while you suffer. Don’t stand for that nonsense!
When you sense someone isn’t being direct with you, call them on it. Ask point blank questions and demand clear answers. If they still play games, wish them the best but excuse yourself from the drama – ain’t nobody got time for that noise.
As scary as it seems, facing uncomfortable truths head-on is THE secret to healthy, mature relationships. Those allergic to direct communication are not ready to be the partner you deserve.
You are a grown, capable adult dammit – have enough self-respect to insist on being with people who can communicate openly and honestly. No more overanalyzing mixed signals! If it’s confusing, blunt honesty is the only acceptable policy from here on out. This is your life, your heart, your happiness on the line – defend its value fiercely.
…But don’t just take my word for it. I’ll leave you with this mic-drop moment from the iconic Brene Brown, who said:
“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”
See that quote tattooed on your heart, my friends! Live it, breathe it, and watch how quickly mixed signals dissolve from your life. Demand clear, mature communication or kick those games to the curb – you’re a boss and should be treated as such.
And with that, I’ll quit preaching and let you get back to deciphering whatever new relationship riddle the universe has thrown your way.
Just remember: If a girl ever calls you “love” again and you can’t decode her angle? Hit me up and I’ll gladly bring more sass, more life coaching, more examples of how ridiculous we all are when it comes to communicating about relationships.
You got this, loves! Now let’s get out there and insist on the direct clarity we deserve, one “love” at a time.
I’m Sarah Koch, and I work as a Relationship Coach in Austin, Texas. I’ve been doing this job for more than 9 years. I studied Sociology and Counseling Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. My main goal is to help people create strong and happy relationships. I also wrote a book called “Irresistible Texting” to share my ideas on how to have better relationships through texting.
