My Boyfriend Is Only Affectionate In Bed (5 Things To Do)

Are you stuck in a relationship where your boyfriend only seems to want to get up close and personal when you’re between the sheets?

Trust me, I know how frustrating and hurtful that can be. It’s like, hello? You exist outside the bedroom too!

If you’re tired of feeling like your boyfriend’s personal toy instead of a valued partner, don’t worry – I’ve got your back.

So grab a cozy blanket cause we are going to find out what might be causing this behavior and how you can encourage more affection in your relationship.

By the end, you’ll have a toolkit of strategies to help you get the love and attention you deserve 24/7, not just when he’s feeling frisky.

1. Understand the root of the issue

First things first, let’s get to the bottom of why your boyfriend is only affectionate in bed. There could be a few reasons:

  • He’s not naturally affectionate and feels awkward expressing it in non-sexual situations
  • He has a lower emotional intelligence and struggles to connect on a deeper level
  • He’s used to relationships that are primarily physical and doesn’t know how to be affectionate otherwise
  • He’s got some unresolved emotional baggage that’s holding him back from fully opening up

Whatever the reason, it’s important to remember that his lack of affection outside the bedroom isn’t a reflection of your worth as a partner. You deserve love, affection, and attention in all aspects of your relationship, not just when he’s in the mood to get it on.

2. Communicate your needs clearly

Now that you’ve got a better understanding of what might be causing your boyfriend’s selective affection, it’s time to have an open and honest conversation about your needs.

I know, I know – talking about feelings can be scary. But trust me, bottling up your emotions will only lead to resentment and frustration down the line.

So take a deep breath, put on your big girl pants, and sit your boyfriend down for a heart-to-heart. Use “I” statements to express how his lack of non-sexual affection makes you feel, and be specific about the kind of affection you crave.

For example:

  • “I feel disconnected from you when we only show affection during sex. I would love more hugs, kisses, and cuddles throughout the day.”
  • “It hurts my feelings when you only touch me sexually. I need physical touch like holding hands and back rubs to feel loved and secure in our relationship.”

Remember, this isn’t about blaming or shaming your boyfriend. It’s about expressing your valid needs and working together to find a solution.

3. Show him what you want

Sometimes, people just need a little guidance when it comes to affection. If your boyfriend is used to only being affectionate in bed, he might not know how to show love in other ways.

That’s where you come in, babe!

Start by modeling the kind of affection you want to receive. Give him random hugs, kiss his cheek, hold his hand while you’re out and about. Show him that physical touch doesn’t always have to lead to sex, and that there are plenty of ways to be affectionate in your day-to-day life.

You can also try planning affectionate activities that don’t revolve around the bedroom. Go for a romantic walk in the park, have a cozy movie night in, or give each other massages. The more you create opportunities for non-sexual affection, the more natural it will start to feel for both of you.

4. Reinforce positive behavior

When your boyfriend does show you affection outside of the bedroom, make sure to let him know how much you appreciate it! Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool in shaping behavior, so don’t be afraid to lay on the praise.

For example:

  • “I love when you hug me like that, it makes me feel so loved and safe.”
  • “Thank you for holding my hand at the grocery store, it means so much to me.”
  • “I really appreciate you cuddling with me on the couch, it’s the best part of my day.”

By acknowledging and appreciating his efforts to be more affectionate, you’ll encourage him to keep up the good work. Plus, it’ll make him feel good knowing that he’s making you happy.

5. Know when to draw the line

Now, I know we all want to believe the best in our partners, but sometimes a lack of affection can be a sign of a deeper issue. If you’ve communicated your needs, modeled affectionate behavior, and reinforced positive changes, but your boyfriend still refuses to show you love outside of the bedroom, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship.

You deserve a partner who makes you feel loved, valued, and desired in all areas of your life, not just in bed. If your boyfriend is unwilling or unable to meet your emotional needs, it might be a sign that he’s not the right person for you.

I know that’s a tough pill to swallow, but trust me – you are worthy of a love that fills you up emotionally, mentally, and physically. Don’t settle for anything less than the affection and attention you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Sometimes when people love each other, they don’t show it enough outside the bedroom. This can feel bad and make you wonder why. But if you talk to the person you love about what you need, show them how you want to be loved, and thank them when they do a good job, you can work together to have a happier relationship with more hugs and kisses.

Remember, change takes time and effort from both people involved. Be patient with your boyfriend as he learns to express affection in new ways, and don’t forget to celebrate the small victories along the way.

And most importantly, always prioritize your own happiness and well-being. You are a goddess who deserves to be cherished, inside and outside the bedroom. Never settle for anything less than the love you truly deserve.

I hope this article has given you some helpful tips and insights on how to deal with a boyfriend who’s only affectionate in bed. Remember, you’ve got this! Keep shining bright and never lose sight of the love and affection you more than deserve.

Wishing you all the love, cuddles, and non-sexual affection you could ever dream of

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