How To Get A Girl To Like You Over Text? Flirty Texting Guide By a Relationship Coach

Let’s be real – flirting over text is its own special circle of dating hell.

All those little bubbles popping up on the screen, waiting to be deciphered for secret codes and hidden signals.

Does “haha” mean she’s into you, or just being polite? Is she taking 3 hours to reply because she’s busy…or because you majorly screwed up that last message??

If you’ve ever found yourself staring blankly at your phone, fingers hovering above the keyboard wondering “What do I say next?!“, don’t worry – you’re definitely not alone.

Texting is the modern-day version of “He loves me, he loves me not” – a flirtatious game of decoding mixed messages and mustering courage to make the next move.

But don’t throw your hands up just yet! Your flirty text master skills are just waiting to blossom.

Why Texting is Like Walking a Tightrope

Let’s set the scene: There’s a cutie you’ve had your eye on for a while. You finally worked up the nerve to ask for their number – score!

Now the real obstacle course begins – getting this potential romance off the ground via text.

As exciting as a new flirtation is, it’s also treacherously easy to stumble right off that tightrope into text stupidity.

Send too many messages without a response? You’re that weirdo double-texter. Take too long to reply? Now you seem disinterested. Lay it on too thick with the compliments? You just became a cringey try-hard.

It’s enough to make you question whether Words With Friends would’ve been the lower-risk dating option!

But stay strong – for every landmine waiting to trip you up through your phone, there are smooth moves you can master to keep the banter flowing naturally.

The Golden Rules of Flirty Texts

Before we get into specifics, engrave these golden rules into your brain:

1. Keep it light & fun

A few flirty texts should be all about creating that giddy, playful vibe – not for pouring out your life story or getting too deep too fast. Keep the mood fun and leave her wanting more.

2. Brevity is key

Those little text bubbles may look innocent, but no one wants a novel hitting their phone every 5 minutes. When it doubt, keep responses concise and punchy.

3. It’s a back-and-forth volley

A good flirty exchange should feel like a game of verbal ping-pong – not an endless monologue from you. Ask questions, make statements that prompt responses, and keep that witty banter flowing both ways.

4. Timing & context are everything

There’s a time and place for steamier texts…and it’s definitely not at 8 am on a Monday morning while she’s snoozing her alarm for the 3rd time. Read the room, folks.

Got those rules down? Awesome. Let’s get into all the juicy details!

Openers to Make Her Smile

What you say in those initial texts lays major groundwork – your choice of opening line can either charm her socks off…or rapidly inspire her to create a new phone contact named “Creepy Dude.” 🙂

You’ll definitely want to open things on an upbeat, fun note to grab her attention and stand out from the bozos leading with “Hey.”

Here are some zingers to get you started strong:

“3 things I like about you so far: 1) Your taste in [fun interest she listed]. 2) Your cute smile. 3) Your questionable taste in dating me. Kidding! But not about the first 2 ;)”

Nothing kicks off flirty vibes better than a humble-braggy joke paired with a compliment. I’m already smirking just thinking of her reading this and rolling her eyes while grinning.

“Well hey there, fancy meeting you here…in my phone contacts!”

Lean into the getting-to-know-you silliness by playing up the irony of now having a direct line to chat anytime. Just don’t make this come across as unhinged excitement – play it smoothly nonchalant.

“Fair warning: My texting game is strong, and I make lots of corny jokes. If you can’t handle it, unmatch now while you can!”

Call out your goofball tendencies and telegraph that fun, flirty messages are on the way. Extra points for doubling down with a dumb joke right off the bat.

“Since you’ll be hearing from me way too often now…”

Leave that trailing off tantalizingly – the implication that you’re already joking about being that annoying texter who can’t get enough of her is pretty irresistible flirting.

The overall vibe you want is fun and lighthearted, but intriguing enough to make her look forward to hearing what you’ll say next. Don’t be afraid to toss in an innocuous compliment, subtle innuendo, or self-deprecating joke to get the banter rolling.

Most importantly? Make sure to end your opener by asking an open-ended question or making a statement that begs for her response!

Keeping the Vibe Going

Okay, so your fire opening line worked like a charm – now what? Time to settle into a flow of back-and-forth bantery exchanges.

No need to overthink it too much; just get that playful dynamic established and keep it feeling light and flirty!

The Compliment Combo
Sincere compliments never fail to make someone’s day. The trick is to pair it with a teasing joke or hypothetical to avoid coming across as trying too hard:

“You have an awesome sense of humor! Maybe a little too awesome, even – I might not be able to keep up with your comedic genius…”

See how giving the genuine compliment (awesome sense of humor) an exaggerated twist (comedic genius I can’t keep up with) takes away any heavy-handedness and inserts flirtatious playfulness instead?

It’s a great way to make her smile while stoking that excited, giddy feeling. Just be sure to mix up the type of compliments you give!

Pop Culture Commentary Bonding over shared interests is a surefire way to make her feel like you just “get” her vibe.

Bringing up random comments about her favorite books, movies, music etc. ties that connection even tighter – especially when paired with some friendly debate:

“Duuuude, I can’t believe you like that movie! I mean, it’s great and all, but did you really buy the whole [key implausible plot point] situation? How?!”

Now you’ve got her gleefully defending her position as you volley back playful retorts. It’s surprising how much funny flirtation can arise from an animated debate over something trivial.

Creative Fiction For extra clever points, make up a wacky fun-fact or tell a short, fictional anecdote to get her drawn into your whimsical imagination:

“Did you know penguins actually can fly, but only while suspended in a horizontal position? It’s a crazy Antarctica secret. Anyway, speaking of penguins – can you guess what my favorite tuxedoed animal is?”

Whether she calls your bluff or just plays along, spinning a harmless tall tale gets her engaged and laughing along with your silly inner world.

The key to all of this is making her feel at ease by mirroring her humor wavelength and showing how enjoyable and effortless bantering back-and-forth with you can be.

This is the magical space where inside jokes start to develop and a unique rapport blossoms!

Mixed Signals & What To Do

But what about those anxiety-inducing moments when responses start trailing off or her replies seem…off?

First of all, don’t panic – momentary stalls and weird vibes are just part of the push-pull dynamic of flirting. The real test is how gracefully you recover!

When She Takes Forever To Respond:
Whether she’s just gotten busy or is intentionally making you sweat it out for some reason, the worst thing you can do is freak out and start blowing up her phone.

Instead, be that chill, unbothered person you wish you were, and:

  • Send one última brief follow-up text (“Sooo…you’re welcome for that delightful penguin fact earlier.”)
  • Give her space to respond for 24 hours.
  • If you still haven’t heard back by then, send one more.

Here’s the rest of the blog post:

Lighten The Mood If her replies suddenly seem distant or stilted, it’s best not to barrel ahead pouring on more serious flirting. Instead, get the vibe back on track to a fun, no-pressure place with some well-timed silliness:

“Well THIS conversation has taken an awkward turn! Hopefully those dance moves of yours redeem the situation.”

Or make a joke nodding to the weirdness:

“Duuude, did someone switch your number with my grandma’s? I was NOT expecting this many crochet pattern updates!”

Absurd humor makes any momentary strangeness feel way less high-stakes, and gives her an easy avenue to flow back into relaxed banter if she was just having an off moment.

Pull Back Speaking of reducing stakes – don’t be afraid to occasionally take a pause yourself by not responding right away.

This gives you both a breather while creating a subtle sense of “Wait, where’d they go?” excitement and desire for the conversation to continue. It also prevents you from coming across as overeager and overwhelming her.

Shake Things Up
If you’ve hit a rut and the same ol’ shtick isn’t landing, it’s time to switch up your dynamic:

  • Transition to making plans to hangout, but do it teasingly: “This conversational foreplay has been fun, but how about we take things to the next level…drinks on Thursday?”
  • Play a flirty game like listing preferences (“Pancakes or waffles?”) and seeing how your answers compare.
  • Reference an inside joke you two had in a previous convo to rekindle that feeling of shared connection.

The bottom line? Mixed signals and occasional lulls are totally normal parts of building attraction – don’t stress too much over them. As long as you stay confident, go with the flow, and keep injecting new fun into the mix, any blips will be totally forgettable.

Graduating to Steamier Texts

You’ve officially nailed the art of flirty banter, and slowly worked your way into establishing a legit flirtationship. So…does that mean it’s time to start turning up the heat over text??

While there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, my advice would be to tread lightly at first and see where she’s at before diving into anything overly suggestive. You two have an awesome rapport going, so no need to risk screwing that up!

Start by subtly weaving in some light innuendo and gauging her reaction:

**”I just spent wayyy too long crafting the perfect flirty text to you, only to get distracted and leave my train of thought completely derailed…” **(coupled with a silly blushy emoji to indicate you were maybe hinting at something more suggestive)

If she picks up what you’re putting down and seems game, you can build from there in a playful, natural way:

Her: “Ohhhh no, do tell! I’m very curious what this train of thought entailed…”

You: “Well, when you put it like that, I simply must disclose…I was going to say something unbelievably smooth like [cheesy pickup line] and then suggest you come over so I can demonstrate my cuddling skills in person…”

Inject some lighthearted flirtation, see how she responds, and gauge from there whether she seems keen to elevation the vibe to something more intimate and charged.

The same rules apply as before – keep things fun yet sincere, strike a balance between confident and considerate, and only progress things in a way that feels comfortable for you both.

And maybe avoid sending any overly explicit messages until you’ve had “the talk” and established that you’re on the same page. A little restraint never hurt anyone!

The Power of Witty Wordplay
For a more subtle heat-adding technique, get your innuendo on through clever wordplay:

“Good morning, sleepyhead! I’ll have you know I was up bright and early…though maybe not for very wholesome reasons”

See what I did there? A seemingly tame statement instantly took on a flirtier, dirtier dimension thanks to that last suggestive part. It hints at something frisky without ever overtly stating it.

These types of wittyWordSmugglers do an awesome job of amping up the sexual tension while keeping things somewhat plausibly deniable.

Work in a few flirty pull-quotes from movies or songs and you’ve crafted yourself the perfect suggestive-yet-innocuous inside jokes to build from.

The key is making your delivery more coy tease than outright raunchy explosion. Restraint and nuance can be even more powerful aphrodisiacs!

The NSFW Texting Playbook

Okay, time for a quick refresher on some courteous sexting street smarts:

Get Consent No matter how heated and passionate things get, never start throwing out X-rated messages out of the blue without getting mutual enthusiasm from your partner! A quick “Is it cool if I get a lil frisky over here?” sets a respectful baseline.

Suggest > Demand Even once you’ve established it’s sextingtime, still keep an air of consideration by making suggestions rather than demands. “I want to pin you against the wall and slowly unbutton your shirt” puts it out there as a fantasy, not an order.

Give as Good as You Get
Sexting should be a two-way tango of escalating innuendos and dirty-talk, not an onslaught of one-sided porn reenactments. Match your partner’s intensity level and leave some things to the imagination.

Set Some Boundaries
“I’m down for some suggestive texts…but nothing too explicit or raunchy” is an A+ way to let someone know your personal comfort zone while still enthusiastically giving them a green light within it.

Always Ask First Re: Photos Assume nothing sexy is being sent your way without asking explicitly first, and never share or repost anything explicit without someone’s clear approval.

Don’t Take It Too Far…
If you ever want to pump the breaks and transition out of NSFW territory, just be direct: “Alright, I’m gonna cool it on the sexting for a bit – let’s pick this up later in person!”

In general, treat it as an intimate, respectful exchange – not a chance to live out Showgirls outtakes or 50 Shades fantasy dialogue.

And don’t sweat it too much! Letting loose and embracing some flirty wordplay is meant to be a natural, fun extension of the heat and energy already building between you two crazy kids.

The Thirst is Real

Whew, we covered a LOT of ground here – from opening lines to green-light sexts and every flirty detour in between.

While texting may seem deceptively simple, pulling off a truly skilled flirtation over those luminescent bubbles is honestly an art form unto itself.

Like any craft, it just takes some practice, finesse, and understanding of the unwritten rules to really hit your stride.

So go forth, you elite corps of digital flirt masters! Lead with authentic confidence, keep the vibe fun and low-stakes, and let the witty banter gradually build that deliciously flirtatious momentum.

Just always remember the golden rule: Reading signals and respecting boundaries is basically modern dating’s biggest turn-on.

Whether you’re aiming for blushing smiles or raised temperatures, the real goal is making your crush feel happy, desired, and totally at ease along this exciting courtship journey you’re taking together.

Now, go on and get charming, you plucky little modern Romeos! Your winky-face emojis await.

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