Ever had one of those mind-blowing kisses that left you weak in the knees, your heart racing, and wanting more…only to look over at him afterward and wonder “Did he feel the same way?”
We’ve all been there, sister. The delicious tension building as your lips met, the electric spark igniting between you both, that rush of giddy excitement…and then poof! The moment is gone, leaving you to obsessively analyze every tiny sigh, lip quiver, and tongue flick for clues about whether he was feeling those same fireworks.
Look, I get it. The fear of unrequited passion is real. Imagining that you’re the only one swooning while he’s just kinda “meh” about the whole thing? Straight-up BRUTAL for the ego.
But listen up, because your relationship fairy godmother is here with the 411 on how to know if he’s as dizzy with desire as you are…or if he’s busy making grocery lists in his head while you’re lost in the throes of smoldering want.
So let’s break it down, shall we?
Signs He Was Not Feeling That Kiss
1. The Patented Pat and Shift
You know the move – where you’re basking in post-kiss bliss and he responds by giving you an awkward pat on the back or shoulder before quickly shifting away like you’re a hot stove? Yeah…not a great sign.
That instinctive urge to create physical distance by scooting their buns across the couch? Major red flag. It screams “get me out of this situation!” Which is the opposite of what you want after a swoon-worthy lip lock.
2. Dry as the Sahara Desert Lips
Nothing kills the mood quite like kissing something that feels like a brick. I’m talking hands-so-dry-they-create-static-electricty level dryness. If his lips were cracked, flakey, and sucking all the moisture from your mouth like a dehydrated desert nomad, that’s a strong indicator his mind was elsewhere.
When someone is truly invested in a kiss, their lips are pillowy soft, parting deliciously to invite you deeper. Dry? Chapped? Dusting you with dried skin flakes? No thanks, boo – that’s a hard pass for me.
3. The Conversation Instantly Changes
Pay attention to what he says and how he says it immediately after the smooch. Does he completely change the subject, segueing into something bland like updating you on his laundry situation or what he had for lunch?
That’s a red flag that the spark fizzled quickly for him. A simple “wow” or saying your name with intention is very different than instantly downshifting to “So hey, I finally got those dress socks in the mail…”
If a guy is feeling those electric vibes, he’s going to extend that intimate energy with his words and tone. Anything overly banal or aggressively pivoting away from the romantic moment? He’s soooo not feeling it.
Positive Signs He’s Smitten Too
Okay, enough of the negative nelly behavior. Let’s get to the good stuff – all the signs that delicious kiss set his soul on fire too!
1. The Longggggg Pause
Nothing makes my heart flutter quite like that breathless silence immediately after an amazing kiss. Where everything is still, charged, the air thick with heat and potential.
If he pauses, lips parting like he’s trying to recover…if his chest is visibly rising and falling…if his eyes are locked on your mouth with pure, undisguised want…
Girl, you CRUSHED it. He’s putty in your hands. The passion force is strong with this one.
Savor that electric pause, that delicious tension of “What’s going to happen next?” Those are moments you’ll replay over and over in your mind for years.
2. Wandering Hands
PG13 version = If his hands start roaming across your back, tangling in your hair, tracing your jaw and neck? You can be damn sure that kiss landed perfectly.
The more he can’t keep his hands off you, the more he’s feeling that burning desire. Bonus points if those wandering digits start getting a little frisky and risque!
3. He Goes In For Round Two (or Three…or Four)
You know what’s even better than an electric first kiss? When he’s immediately going in for another!
That eager, confident move of re-capturing your lips with his? Oooooh yeah. You’re giving this man ALL the right feelings and he can’t get enough.
When the kisses keep coming – one after another, getting progressively more intense and daring – it means you’ve unlocked a deep passion within him. He’s not thinking about chores, or work stress, or what to eat later – he is 100000% present and focused on ravishing you.
Isn’t that what we all want? To be consumed by someone’s want and adoration? To drive them so wild they just have to keep tasting you over and over?
If the makeout sesh doesn’t let up and he’s practically devouring you? You better believe he’s enjoying every toe-curling second, you vixen, you!
Putting It All Together
At the end of the day, while I can give you all the tips and tricks in the world for reading the room, only one thing really matters: checking in with each other.
My tried-and-true advice? Once you’ve caught your breath post-makeout, lock eyes with him and say:
“So…how was that for you just now?”
Gauge his reaction – does he get a little flustered and shy, yet with a huge smile plastered across his face? Does he grip you a little tighter and say “Amazing”?
Or does he just sort of shrug it off with a half-hearted “Yeah, it was cool I guess”?
Trust your gut, babe. Men are relatively simple creatures – if he’s feeling those fireworks, he’ll have no issue telling you.
And if his lackluster response bums you out? Try not to take it too personally! Maybe you two simply weren’t meant to be epic kissingpartners for life. Or maybe it was just an off day.
The beauty is that you have the power to move on and find someone who does leave you utterly breathless with their smooches. And believe me, when you connect with that person whose kisses make your toes curl, spark fireworks in your soul, and rock your whole universe…
You’ll know it instantly. No second-guessing required.
So pucker up, shooter – your mind-blowing soulmate could be just one kiss away!
I’m Sarah Koch, and I work as a Relationship Coach in Austin, Texas. I’ve been doing this job for more than 9 years. I studied Sociology and Counseling Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. My main goal is to help people create strong and happy relationships. I also wrote a book called “Irresistible Texting” to share my ideas on how to have better relationships through texting.
