We all know how annoying it is when someone comments “No one asked” in response to something we said or posted. It’s frustrating, invalidating, and makes you want to come back with a snarky or witty remark.
I still remember when my friend Kelly posted a photo of her cute new puppy on social media. She was so excited to share the news and photos, but the first comment she received was “Um no one asked, keep it to yourself next time”. You should have seen the shocked and hurt look on her face!
That experience made me realize how common rude comments like “No one asked” have become. And how much they can sting when you’re happily sharing something personal.
So I decided to put together a list of snappy, witty, funny and savage comebacks you can use the next time someone pulls this line on you…
30 Clever Comebacks to “No One Asked”
Before we get to the comebacks, just remember: Not everything we share or say is an invitation for comments or opinions. Sometimes people simply want to express themselves without judgement or backlash.
With that said, here are 30 creative ways to stand up for yourself when faced with this rude remark:
“You seem confused. I wasn’t asking if you asked.”
“Just because no one asked you doesn’t mean no one wants to hear it.”
“I didn’t realize I needed your permission to speak.”
“Funny…I don’t remember asking if you asked.”
“I don’t recall needing your validation to share my thoughts/feelings/stories.”
“Actually, the world doesn’t revolve around you. Shocking, I know.”
“Just because you don’t care doesn’t mean others won’t find value in what I have to say.”
“I’m sorry, who made you the conversation police?”
“Did I ask you to comment? Nope!”
“I don’t tell you when to speak, so don’t tell me when not to.”
“Funny, I never asked for your opinion on the matter.”
“Just a heads up – the world doesn’t revolve around what you want to hear.”
“If hearing opinions you don’t like bothers you so much, there’s a handy mute button you can use.”
“Thanks so much for your completely useless commentary!”
“Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize we needed your royal permission to speak freely.”
“Thanks for your oh-so-valued input. I’ll be sure to check if you asked next time before opening my mouth.”
“My bad, I forgot I’m only allowed to say things Captain Nobody Cares About wants to hear.”
“If you’d rather not hear people’s thoughts, feelings or stories you didn’t specifically ask for, there’s this wonderful invention called headphones…”
“Forgive me your highness! I didn’t mean to offend you by speaking without your divine permission!”
“Don’t flatter yourself – not everything said is meant for your ears or approval.”
“Did I ask for peanut gallery commentary from the likes of you?”
“I don’t remember asking what you asked or didn’t ask about.”
“Alert the media – someone shared something without your consent! Call the manners police!”
“Keep the useless remarks to yourself next time.”
“Thank you so much for that completely irrelevant notification.”
“My bad, I didn’t realize we all had to run things by you for approval first.”
“I’ll be sure to check if you approve of me speaking first…oh wait, no I won’t.”
“I don’t recall requiring your commentary, authorized or not.”
“FYI – just because you don’t care doesn’t mean it’s irrelevant to everyone else.”
“If you’d rather not hear opinions without your divine blessing, might I suggest noise-cancelling headphones?”
Also Read: How to Respond to ‘How Did You Sleep’: 30+ Flirty, Witty And Savage Responses
I hope this list gives you plenty of snappy comeback options for the next time someone rudely comments “No one asked” on something you said or posted.
Remember – you should never feel silenced or invalidated for openly expressing yourself. Nor should you need anyone’s approval or permission to share your voice.
Use these witty retorts to stand up for your right to speak freely!
Funny Comebacks to “No One Asked”
We’ve all been there – you excitedly share something you care about and boom….”no one asked”. Not cool.
While you have every right to be annoyed, funny comebacks can allow you to stand up for yourself without losing your cool. Here are 12 funny ways to respond when hit with this lame remark:
12 Witty & Humorous Retorts
- “You’d be surprised how little I care about whether or not you asked.”
- “Dear diary…today a stranger announced they personally did not ask me to speak. My fragile heart is shattered.”
- “Alert the media – someone shared an unsolicited opinion on the internet!”
- “Thanks for the news flash, Captain Obvious.”
- “Quick question – did I ask if you asked? Checking for a friend.”
- “No one asked if I asked whether you asked. Now we’re all confused.”
- “To whoever needed to hear this: you are not that important.”
- “Breaking news: local Redditor outraged when someone shares thoughts without their permission.”
- “Stay tuned for more hard-hitting updates about topics nobody asked you about specifically!
- “Thanks so much for contributing absolutely nothing of value to the conversation.”
- “Imagine the audacity I must have … speaking without begging for approval first. “
- “Quick PSA – just because you personally did not ask, does not make something irrelevant.”
As you can see, responding with humor and wit defuses tension while still standing your ground. Now get out there and give that lame “nobody asked” remark the hilarious retort it deserves!
Savage Responses to Shut Them Down
Sometimes you need more than wit – you need flat-out savage comebacks to shut down the rude “no one asked” heckler and defend your right to speak. Here are 10 brutally blunt replies:
10 Blunt & Bold Comebacks
- “Funny, I don’t remember needing your permission to open my mouth.”
- “Actually, nobody asked for your useless opinion either. Now hush.”
- “Says the one butting into a conversation uninvited. Hypocritical much?”
- “I couldn’t care less if you asked or not. Now buzz off.”
- “Keep scrolling if you don’t like it. Really not that hard.”
- “Shocker – it’s not always about you or what you asked for. Crazy concept, I know.”
- “If hearing other viewpoints bothers you this much, do yourself a favor and just log off.”
- “Don’t like it? Click unfollow instead of making stupid comments.”
- “Didn’t ask for asshole commentary. Now zip it.”
- “OP didn’t ask for useless opinions from nobodies either, yet here you are.”
Also Read: How to Respond to ‘Don’t Tempt Me’: 30+ Flirty, Witty And Savage Responses
Bam! Sometimes you just need to be blunt AF when responding to these attention-seeking, self-important types. Now get out there, speak your truth and unleash these savage clapbacks on any Debby Downers trying to silence you!
Flirty Responses to Lighten the Mood
When hit with the “no one asked” heckler, silly comebacks can totally disarm them. But fiery, flirty retorts also knock the wind right out of their sails!
If you want to really throw them off balance while also standing your ground, try these sassy flirty replies:
10 Cheeky Comebacks
- “You’re right, I should’ve asked if you wanted to hear more about little ol’ me first…” 😉
- “Oh I do apologize…how very rude of me not to ask my number one fan for permission to speak!”
- “You got me there stud! How could I dare to open my mouth without asking if this fine gentleman wanted to hear little ‘ol me first?” 💁🏼♀️
- “Didn’t realize I needed the official go-ahead from a big strong man like yourself first…”
- “A thousand apologies my dear! I meant no offense by speaking without going through you first…” 😳
- “Terribly sorry for not double checking with my favorite critic before opening my silly little mouth!”
- “Whoopsie, looks like someone’s jealous they aren’t the center of attention!” 😝
- “Oooh, someone’s just dying for me to pay them a little more attention aren’t they?” 😏
- “If you wanna hear more from me sugar, all you had to do was ask…” 💋
- “Aw, feeling left out honey? Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to pay extra attention to you from now on…” 😘
Also Read: How to Respond to “You Look Like Trouble”: 30+ Flirty, Witty And Savage Responses
Let me tell you, when self-important types get flirty clapbacks like these – they usually can’t think up another clever retort! So try out these cheeky responses next time, and watch that heckler get tongue-tied. 😉
Top 10 Editor’s Choice “No One Asked” Comebacks
Out of all the snappy, witty and savage comebacks out there, these 10 are our editor’s top picks for shutting down the rude “no one asked” comment perfectly. Bookmark this list for when you need the perfect response!
1. “Making useless remarks must be your special talent.”
This brilliant one-liner highlights the pointless and non-constructive nature of their dumb comment. It’s a classy yet cutting comeback.
When to use: Responding to unwanted opinions on social media posts or group conversations.
When not to use: In more sensitive situations (e.g. grieving friend overshares).
2. “Thanks for confirming nobody cares what you think either.”
Flipping the “nobody asked” script back on them shows just how ridiculous their remark was. Witty, to-the-point and oh so satisfying!
When to use: When someone pipes up uninvited with a rude or critical comment.
When not to use: With close friends/family unless you know they’ll take it as a joke.
3. “Shocker, the world doesn’t actually revolve around you!”
This snappy response calls out their underlying self-importance and entitlement. It highlights how they wrongly expect everyone to cater to their wants.
When to use: Anytime someone rudely complains you didn’t ask if they want to hear something.
When not to use: When someone vocalizes feeling ignored/left out in group conversations.
4. “If only I valued your opinion enough to care.”
Oooh, talk about a blunt reality check! This savage reply makes it crystal clear their views don’t matter to you. Harsh? Yes. Satisfying? Extremely!
When to use: When irrelevant nobodies criticize you without reason.
When not to use: With friends/family unless you have thick skin and joke this way.
5. “Thanks for confirming you contribute zero value to this conversation.”
Nail them to the wall for their useless, non-constructive remarks! It also hints that they just want attention.
When to use: Anytime someone chimes in with pointless criticism or negativity.
When not to use: When someone expresses feeling isolated/unheard in a kind manner.
6. “If hearing different opinions bothers you this much, time to reevaluate some life choices.”
This sassy response questions why they feel so threatened by perspectives they didn’t explicitly ask for. Really makes them reflect (hopefully)!
When to use: When people aggressively try to silence opinions they personally disagree with.
When not to use: If someone voices feeling ignored in a polite way.
7. “Sorry, did I touch a nerve by speaking without your royal blessing?”
This sarcastically implies they see themselves as royalty you need permission from to open your mouth. Really highlights the ridiculousness of their remark!
When to use: Anytime someone comments “Nobody asked” just because you shared an opinion.
When not to use: If someone genuinely says they feel excluded or unheard.
8. “If you’d rather not hear unauthorized opinions, stop reading now.”
Short, blunt and cuts to the core issue – they feel entitled to only hear opinions they signed off on. Tough luck!
When to use: In open online forums or conversations where off-topic opinions arise.
When not to use: If someone politely voices feeling excluded or unheard.
9. “Write it in your diary if you really need to share comments this useless.”
Savage! This witty response suggests their unprompted opinions are as irrelevant as private diary entries. Ouch…but well deserved!
When to use: Anytime someone asserts rude, pointless criticism about you unprovoked.
When not to use: If it’s clear someone just wants emotional support.
10. “Thanks so much for your completely unsolicited and useless opinion!”
This sarcastic reply nicely summarizes the hypocrisy of their remark – they shared an irrelevant view nobody asked for either. Bam!
When to use: When people assert opinions without reason to shut down others.
When not to use: With sensitive friends/family unless you share this humor type
How to Respond to Girls Saying “No One Asked”
Listen ladies, let’s have each other’s backs instead of tearing each other down. If you’ve been on the receiving end of another girl’s nasty “no one asked” comment, kill the tension with these peaceful responses:
5 Ways to Diffuse Drama
- “You’re right, my bad! I just got excited to share something I care about. But go ahead, what were you saying?”
- “I hear you, sorry for butting in. Please, continue with what you were talking about!”
- “No harm meant! I shouldn’t have interrupted without checking if you wanted to hear more from me first.”
- “That was rude of me to start blabbing without asking if you guys wanted to listen first. Apologies!”
- “I respect that! Wasn’t appropriate for me to interrupt your chat to share random thoughts. Back to what you were saying!”
Kill tension with kindness ladies. Build each other up rather than putting each other down! 👯♀️
Responding to Guys Telling You “No One Asked”
Some guys pull the “no one asked” card thinking it gets them the upper hand or something. Lame move!
Regain control of the convo with these peaceful yet firm retorts:
5 Ways to Command Respect
- “Fair enough! But there’s no need to be rude – I was just making conversation which involves sharing thoughts freely sometimes.”
- “You’re right, I got ahead of myself there. But in the future, you can simply say you’re not interested in chatting further instead of being impolite.”
- “I acknowledge I started blabbing without asking if you actually wanted to chat first. No offense meant by it though!”
- “Understood – I shouldn’t have started sharing random thoughts without permission. But the disrespectful attitude wasn’t necessary on your part either. Let’s talk politely.”
- “Point taken, I started spewing my thoughts unceremoniously. But essentially telling someone to shut up is pretty insensitive too don’t you think?”
The key is standing your ground while also taking the high road guys! Don’t let rude dudes get away with putting you down. 💪
In Closing…
I hope these witty, funny and savage comebacks, plus peaceful alternatives, help you respond to the annoying “no one asked” remark confidently.
Remember – nobody needs anyone’s permission to freely express themselves. 😁 Stick up for your rights if rude people try putting you down!
I’m Sarah Koch, and I work as a Relationship Coach in Austin, Texas. I’ve been doing this job for more than 9 years. I studied Sociology and Counseling Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. My main goal is to help people create strong and happy relationships. I also wrote a book called “Irresistible Texting” to share my ideas on how to have better relationships through texting.
Same!!! I go through this stuff like all week long. I just love this page.
I love how most people lose conversations because they come up with their ‘own words’ and ends up sounding completely stupid, I wish there were more websites like this