Funny Responses to “What Have You Cooked Lately?”: 63+ Celver Comebacks

When someone asks “What have you been cooking up lately?” as a way of asking what awesome thing you’ve been working on, here are some witty replies to let them know you’ve got something big brewing:

“Oh, just a few secret recipes I can’t reveal quite yet…”

“I’m simmering up a real game-changer over here. Can’t spill the beans though!”

We’ve all had those times where we’re putting in serious work on the next big idea or exciting project, but we want to keep the details under wraps until it’s ready. Whether it’s a passion project, new business venture, or creative masterpiece, there’s an undeniable thrill that comes with cooking up something incredible behind the scenes.

As someone who has spent years coaching others to pursue their wildest dreams, I know that anticipation and air of mystery can be powerful fuel for your ambitions.

So when someone inevitably catches wind that you’re onto something fresh and asks “What have you been cooking up lately?”, you’ll want a few choice responses locked and loaded to pique their interest without giving away too much too soon.

It’s the perfect chance to have some fun, feed their curiosity, and build hype for the amazing work you’re “cooking” up!

Mysterious and Cryptic Replies

“You’ll have to wait and find out…let’s just say it’s been simmering nicely.”

When you’re deep in the development stage of your big new idea or creative work, a bit of secrecy and intrigue can be extremely compelling. Tap into that air of mystery with cryptic-yet-enticing replies.

Other examples:

• “My lips are sealed for now…but big things are most definitely cooking.”
• “You know I can’t reveal my secret ingredients prematurely!”
• “Major classified operations in the works. Culinary confidentiality Code protects the deets.”
• “My genius is currently marinating. Ask me again once it’s fully baked.”
• “I don’t want to spill the beans before it’s ready, but it’s pretty delectable so far.”
• “The recipe is still coming together, but I’ve already tasted some sweet success.”
• “Just adding some seasoning and garnish to a new signature dish…almost done!”
• “You’ll have to wait for the full-course experience – I’m still in the prep stages.”
• “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to garnish you with some parsley!”

Confidence and Swagger

“Oh, just whipping up the next iconic gamechanger, no biggie…”

There’s nothing quite like some well-earned bravado and confidence when you know you’re brewing up something truly special. These replies let a bit of that swagger shine through.

Other examples:

• “Ya know, just revolutionizing the entire game one savory flavor at a time.”
• “Cementing my legacy as a visionary in the kitchen…literally and figuratively.”
• “Call me Chef Awesome Sauce, because that’s exactly what I’m cookin’ up over here!”
• “Making all my wildest dreams come true, one meal-prep at a time. Jealous much?”
• “Why consume ordinary food when you can feast on the spectacular? That’s rhetorical.”
• “Elevating the culinary arts to heights you can’t even fathom right now, buddy.”
• “Oh you know, just becoming a deity among mere mortals through flavor alchemy.”
• “I’ve finally cracked the code on creating gastronomic nirvana…mic fucking drop.”
• “Cookin’ up so much iconic dopeness, Anthony Bourdain about to reincarnate as my sous chef.”

Playful and Hyperbolic Teasing

“I’m brewing up something so epic, so mind-blowing, it’ll melt your taste buds off!”

Don’t be afraid to lean hard into playful exaggeration and hyperbolic teasing when describing your exciting work-in-progress. The key is to make it clearly over-the-top and not take yourself too seriously.

Other examples:

• “I’m literally reinventing food as we know it. Yeahhh, it’s pretty crazy!”
• “You could say I’m single-handedly upending the culinary industrial complex…”
• “Crafting an edible magnum opus that’ll blow Michelin-starred chefs’ minds forever!”
• “Oh you know, just cooking up a storm of pure iconic greatness over here. NBD.”
• “I’m raising the bar for the whole food industry with this new creation of mine.”
• “Absolute culinary domination is the only thing on the menu for this chef.”
• “Think the ultimate taste bud experience, only astronomically more epic. That’s it!”
• “You could say I’m reshaping all of food culture as we understand it. Pretty neat, huh?”
• “What I’ve got simmering over here is basically foodie rapture. You’re not prepared!”

Metaphorical and Conceptual Descriptions

Distilling the very essence of life’s flavors into one magnificent work of edible art.”

Get a bit abstract and metaphorical by describing your work in creative, almost mythical or philosophical terms related to the culinary world.

Other examples:

• “I’m forging the Excalibur of cuisine – a taste so divine it bestows royal status.”
• “Reverse-engineering happiness from its most fundamental flavor components.”
• “Imagine harmonizing the five primal taste bud symphonies into one concerto…”
• “What I’m making isn’t just food – it’s a multi-sensory experience channeling the cycles of life.“
• “Think of it like transcending into an astral plane of pure flavorful bliss…”
• “The blood, sweat, and tears of the culinary gods themselves, aged to perfection.”
• “I’m creating a physical manifestation of your happiest childhood memory…in food form.”
• “An edible philosophical treatise that’ll make you question your entire belief system.”
• “Calibrating the ideal balance between the five core magical elements of cooking.”

Humorous Misdirection and Letdowns

“Oh man, I’ve been cooking up one hell of an* MLM essential oil sales pitch for you!”

Set up an expectation that you’re “cooking up” something huge and incredible, only to humorously misdirect or let the air out with an intentionally lame, mundane, or joking letdown.

Other examples:

• “You want to hear about my new secret tax evasion scheme I’ve been cookin’ up?”
• “Preparing some delicious decomposing roadkill dishes over here. Wanna taste?”
• “A blazing new career as an IRS agent, that’s what I’ve got simmering…”
• “Let’s just say it involves dognapping, fraud, and witness relocation. Interested?”
• “Been coding the next great Nigerian prince email scam…you’ll want in on this!”
• “Oh you know, the usual: soft erotica birdwatching novel. It’s gonna be a bestseller!”
• “My new Billy Mays-approved Vegan Meat Substitute is so nutritious and delicious!”
• “Well, it’s not quite ready yet, but you’ll love my Austin Powers impression once it is.”
• “Deconstructed toenail cuisine – the next big thing in pique food, I swear!”

Self-Deprecating Humor and Put-Downs

“Cookin’ up some absolute garbage as per usual over here. You’re not missing much!”

A little harsh on yourself, but there’s always room for some endearing self-deprecation and put-down humor if you deliver it with the right dash of confidence and charm.

Other examples:

• “Oh you know, just aerating some firmly shit-tier ideas per the normal routine.”
• “Reminding myself how untalented and awful I am through culinary metaphors.”
• “My typical dumpster fire of mediocrity and failure, but seasoned with extra low self-esteem!”
• “Please, like anything of value could possibly emerge from this crusty brain oven.”
• “Solidifying my status as a one-manrezept For disappointment in the kitchen and beyond.”
• “You sure you wanna know? It’s just runny, unseasoned sadness as always over here.”
• “Curdling domestic dreams and self-worth into an unappetizing sludge – my specialty!”
• “Does feverishly destroying my own confidence and self-belief count as cookin’ somethin’ up?”
• “Is ‘Underachieving Assorted Shames’ a acceptable dish name these days? If so, that.”

Quirky Fictitious Projects and Schemes

“An ultra top-secret plan to genetically engineer franken-veggies that taste like candy!”

Get delightfully weird and offbeat by coming up with hilariously random, quirky, and outlandish fictional schemes and projects that you’re supposedly “cooking up.”

Other examples:

• “I call it Operation Soylent Borscht – but I’ve already said too much…”
• “My portable microdistillery for artisinal backyard bathtub gin is v underrated.”
• “Constructing the ultimate squirrel-proof birdfeeder Fort Knox out of household objects.”
• “Believe it or not, I’m synthesizing haggis flavor molecules from common mold spores.”
• “What if I told you I’ve nearly gene-hacked the purnima turmeric arancini?”
• “Distilling MDMA and psilocybin analogs from obscure roots and fungi in Peru.”
• “Oh nothing too crazy, just attempting to photosynthesize sugary snacks is all!”
• “An underground insect gastronomy popup dining experience is currently being cooked.”
• “Let’s just say it involves a thermonuclear oven system powered by idol hair clippings…”

Bragging Done Ironically or Satirically

“Only the single greatest achievement in modern culinary arts, no notes.”

While genuine bragging can seem obnoxious, there’s definitely comedic value in blatantly boastful and arrogantly braggadocios replies…when done with an obvious wink and tongue planted firmly in cheek.

Other examples:

• “You could say I’m redefining planetary consumption patterns on a molecular level.”
• “Oh, just upending all traditional models of tasting and flavor fundamentals. NBD.”
• “Cementing my reputation as the most brilliant culinary disruptor OF ALL TIME,essentially.”
• “Honestly, this next creation will make the French Laundry seem like hostel vending machines.”
• “People will be studying my flavor theories for literal millennia, mark me.”
• “You’re witnessing singular, transcendent genius manifest before your eyes right now.”
• “There’s iconoclastic, paradigm-shifting kitchen madness happening here, my friend!”
• “Rewriting the entire global palate and gastronomic zeitgeist, essentially. Casual!”
• “Rendering the entire canon of culinary mastery obsolete through my vision…again.”

Bizarre Anti-Jokes and Anti-Humor

“Soup. I’ve just been cooking up a bunch of soup lately. That’s it.”

Sometimes leaning hard into anti-humor and subverting all expectations can result in some of the most hilarious non-responses and anti-jokes imaginable. Don’t be afraid to go aggressively straightforward or random!

Other examples:

• “Just been watching paint dry to be honest. Doesn’t get much better than that!”
• “Tying my shoes over and over again. It’s a slow process but I’m getting there.”
• “Oh you know…just been breathing in and out for days. Nothing too fancy.”
• “The snake club piece de resistance is almost complete, I’d say. Wait, what was the question?”
• “Oh yeah, I’ve been aggressively following squirrels around town lately. Good times.”
• “Not much honestly – just sorta existing and pondering my own existence. You?”
• “Well if we’re being honest here, my latest undertaking is converting to Amishuddism.”
• “Look man, all I do is stare at different light bulbs and rate their luminosity these days.”
• “Filing. Lots and lots of solitary paper filing over here. You get me.”

Breaking the Fourth Wall

“I’d love to regale you, but then I’d have to break down the artifice of this silly writing exercise!”

For a refreshing change of pace, you can break the fourth wall and cheekily acknowledge the very premise and context you’re working within for a delightfully meta moment.

Other examples:

• “Oh shit, I’ve been rumbled! Just improvising wacky fake project ideas for laffs here.”
• “Let’s see, what magnificently ‘cookin’ metaphors can I pull out of…never mind!”
• “You’ve discovered my secret! Baking up piping hot nonsense premises for fun and profit.”
• “No kitchen wizardry here, officer. Just brainstorming random bizarre replies on demand!”
• “Well if we’re being totally above-board here, I’m attempting to write funny ‘cookin’ jokes currently.”
• “I’d love to regale you, but then I’d have to break down the artifice of this silly writing exercise!”
• “Oh you caught me whipping up a batch of baloney to meet the assignment guidelines!”
• “Look, all I’m doing is free-associating fanciful cooking scenarios rn from a basic prompt.”
• “Let’s be honest, we both know I’m free-styling bogus metaphors about fictional cooking projects.”

Replying to a Girl

When a girl playfully asks what exciting new thing you’ve been “cooking up” lately, she’s showing a flirtatious interest in your life and ambitions. This is the perfect opportunity to intrigue her with an air of mystery, impress her with your wit and confidence, and maybe even lay some light, suggestive groundwork for future romantic potential.

Start by leaning into the culinary metaphor she introduced – describe your latest pursuit or personal goal using vivid food and cooking analogies. “I’ve been marinating on this big new entrepreneurial idea that I think could really shake up the industry. I don’t want to spill all the beans just yet while it’s still simmering, but let’s just say it’s gonna be deliciously disruptive when it’s ready.” Vivid language like this paints a more compelling picture in her mind.

Then you can amplify the intrigue by playfully doubling down on keeping the details under wraps for now. “You’re just going to have to wait patiently for the full-course meal reveal…no sneak peeks from this chef!” Or get a bit boldly confident yet still charming: “Let’s just say it’ll be the most iconic, boundary-pushing creation to ever grace the culinary world. No notes.”

Finally, you can dial up the flirtation just a bit by making it more personal to the two of you: “Why share the details now when I could savor that look of delighted surprise on your face when you finally taste the sweet, sweet fruits of my labor?” Delivered with the right smile, this suggests you’re already picturing her joy and approval as part of the experience.

With a perfect blend of secrecy, charisma, and suggestiveness, your “cookin’ up something big” reply will cook up some serious intrigue and chemistry between you two!

Replying to a Guy

You can really lean into the competitive, one-upmanship spirit by boasting ridiculous, grandiose claims about your top-secret culinary creation in the works. “You think you’re hot stuff in the kitchen? Well let me tell you, this flavor apocalypse I’m engineering right now is going to force a complete reset of every puny preconception you have about taste!”

The key is to massively overinflate and exaggerate to absurd, clearly tongue-in-cheek levels while still sounding supremely confident, self-assured, and even a bit delusionally arrogant in that classic male bravado mode. “I’m not just changing the food game, bro. I’m redefining the entirety of human freaking EXISTENCE through flavor transcendence!”

Another hugely entertaining angle is to go ultra-weird, random, and completely off-the-wall bizarre with the fictional “project” details you provide. “You’re gonna eat those words once I unlock the inter-dimensional taste gateways and summon the Five Sangria Elementals to forge me a Michelin Star Talisman of Supreme Gastrology!” The more ridiculously made-up and pseudo-mystical, the better.

The overall vibe with guy-to-guy”what’ve you been cooking?” banter should be free-wheeling, zero filter, unrestrained raunchiness, betting braggadocio, harsh self-deprecation, and a general expenditure of masculine comedic emotional energy. If you can make each other snort-laugh in disbelief or appreciation for the audacity, you’re doing it right!

Key Takeaways

1. Build anticipation and intrigue through vague yet tantalizing hints about the incredible thing you’re working on.
2. Use vivid cooking metaphors and over-the-top claims to playfully amp up the grandeur.
3. Match your humor style to the audience – more flirtatious charm with romantic interests, out-raunch the bros.

There’s nothing quite like the delicious potential simmering within even the most simple, straightforward question about what you’ve been up to lately. With a dash of quick wit, a generous sprinkle of confidence, and freeflow helpings of uninhibited humor and imagination, you can whip up something that packs so much more flavor than the ordinary bland reply.

So embrace your role as comedic chef du jour whenever someone presents you with that classic conversation-starting opportunity. Prepare to dazzle their senses with a richly seasoned medley of intrigue, cheekiness, charm, swagger, and nourishing laughter. Who knows – you may just cook up such rapturous delight with your words that they’ll Already be starving for a second helping before you’ve served the first course! Now that’s the true sign of a master in life’s kitchen.