We’ve all had those moments desperately swiping on Tinder or Hinge at 2 AM, hungover and alone in our diets – I mean beds.
The constant scrolling and messaging starts to feel like a full-time job as we chase the high of a new match or witty conversation.
But at what point does this become toxic and self-destructive? When does the hunt for a partner turn into a mindless addiction fueled by FOMO – the fear of missing out?
You’re Never Satisfied Because the Grass Seems Greener…
We’ve become a society plagued by FOMO in every aspect of life. Social media ensures we get hourly reminders of all the amazing things everyone else is doing, places they’re going, and people they’re dating. So our lonely nights in feel infinitely worse.
Dating apps play right into this nagging sense of dissatisfaction. By design, they dangle a vast pool of tantalizing new options in front of us, 24/7. With just a few taps we can browse a buffet of potential partners, each one promising a fresher, more exciting experience.
But it’s all an ILLUSION, my friends!
That cute new match who seems so perfect? They’re just as flawed and human as your current partner or dating prospects. Same insecurities, bad habits, and baggage – they’ve just had a professional photographer capture them at the ideal angle with gorgeous lighting.
Why Are We Self-Sabotaging Our Chances at Real Connection?
The paradox of choice is REAL when you have thousands of romantic prospects at your fingertips. Everyone inevitably starts looking a little dull and disappointing after the novelty wears off.
So we feverishly swipe and chat, always wondering if we could do a little better by taking another spin on the dating roulette wheel. But we’re just self-sabotaging any chance of building a genuine bond.
Let’s be honest – we’ve ALL probably ditched promising connections because a few too many “red flags” popped up or we got bored too quickly. I’m raising my hand right here.
Instead of getting to know an imperfect human being, we toss them back for the FOMO’s lure of finding someone “more perfect.” Cue the endless cycle of discarding decent people in pursuit of the shiny new object.
This isn’t FOMO – IT’S AN ADDICTION. We get a little hit of that sweet, sweet dopamine with each new match, message, or date possibility. So we keep going back over and over, searching for the next fix even as it steadily erodes our self-worth and humanity.
You deserve SO much better than this. You’re worthy of real, meaningful connections that fulfill you. But they can’t happen until you break the toxic dating app spiral.
The Twisted Dangers of Dating App Addiction
Oh friends, we’re venturing into some truly bleak territory here as we peel back the sleazy layers of the modern dating app dystopia. On the surface, these digital meat markets have democratized romance by putting a globalized menu of potential mates at our greedy fingertips. Over 1,500 apps and websites out there claiming to be passionate yenta matches made in heaven!
Apps may have given people the world of singles at their fingertips, but serial daters, in
particular, shouldn’t underestimate their negative effects.
But take a closer look at the statistics, and a much more disturbing picture emerges. One where dishonest wolves shamelessly roam amongst the lovesick sheeple, lying through their perfectly whitened teeth about their true relationship status.
According to the matchmaking experts at Dinner for Six, a STAGGERING 51% of dating app users are actually already boo’d up but masquerading as single and ready to mingle online. Let that disgusting realization fully marinate for a moment.
And if that’s not enough to make you delete these cursed apps immediately, get this – over HALF of U.S. users fully admit to fabricating some or all of their profile information according to Huffpost research. Talk about a strong foundation for a healthy relationship!
But here’s perhaps the most vile statistic of all to shatter any remaining illusions: Fricking 11% of users on these apps are literally MARRIED according to MSNBC, yet have the narcissistic audacity to creep around seeking side action like scumbag sociopaths.
How to Kick Your FOMO Addiction to the Curb
1) Schedule Dating “Detoxes”
Look, I’m not saying you have to quit dating apps cold turkey forever. But we all need little resets and breathers at times. So set a recurring calendar event to delete your apps for at least 2 weeks every month or two.
Yes, you may miss out on a few new matches in the interim. But is that really the end of the world? Or are you giving yourself the refreshing opportunity to actually meet people in real life at social events?
Crazy concept, I know! But there’s magic in making eye contact and picking up on chemistry and pheromones in person – things you simply can’t through a screen.
During your dating app detox, get ready to feel more present, peaceful, and in tune with yourself. No more mindless swiping or app notifications jolting your dopamine levels. You may even rediscover cherished hobbies or interests you’ve neglected while chasing dating FOMO!
2) Focus On One Connection at a Time
Those polyamorists may be cringing right now, but this applies to the rest of us normies: Be present with one person you’ve matched with. Stop browsing or swiping when you start having a real conversation unfolding. There will ALWAYS be new matches waiting for you, I promise.
Give someone a fair shot beyond superficial chit chat. You might find there are unexpected layers you misjudged initially. While you’re at it, reflect on what you may have overlooked or not conveyed well in your profile. Vulnerability and openmindedness breed connection.
If the sparks still aren’t flying after several exchanges, politely move on. Don’t ghost – that’s cowardly and you know it. Just thank them gracefully for their time and wish them well.
3) Focus on Self-Love and Living Your Best Life
This may sound like just another clichè…but the real antidote to dating FOMO is to be the best version of yourself and build fulfillment within.
So splurge on those dance classes, art workshops, or weekend trips with friends you’ve always wanted. The things you WISH you had time and energy for, but usually squander on swiping fruitlessly.
Develop hobbies that make you feel passionate and purposeful. Use that creativity to curate an authentic, multi-dimensional dating profile showcasing your true interests and personality. The right people WILL find their way to you.
Most importantly, take radical self-love to the next level. Nurture positive habits like journaling, meditation, therapy – whatever it takes to keep you grounded and appreciative of yourself and life’s bigger picture.
Because here’s the hard truth: As thrilling as that Tinder banter may feel sometimes, it can never fill the void or heal your inadequacies if you haven’t put in the internal work. Outsourcing your sense of worthiness to fickle external validation via dating FOMO is a recipe for misery.
So don’t be that sad, desperate soul compulsively dating and self-sabotaging due to FOMO. Be the inspiring human who glows from within, follows their bliss, and attracts fulfilling bonds naturally because they know their worth.
Your love story may have the “happily ever after” beginning you envisioned as a kid reading fairytales. But it starts with ditching the dating app addiction right here, right now.
In the immortal words of Ariana Grande: “You want it, you got it…you like that? Baby, there’s more where that came from.” – AKA focusing on your own life and letting the magic come to you. Trust me on this one!
A Final Note of Encouragement
Look, I know resisting the FOMO struggle can feel downright torturous sometimes. When it seems like EVERYONE is coupled up or getting laid except you, the loneliness and desperation are overwhelming.
I’ve been there, my friends. We’ve all been there.
But you HAVE to keep reminding yourself that social media is a distorted reality. Those perfectly curated dating profiles and thirst traps? They’re the exception, not the norm. And even the most outwardly “perfect” people are battling their own unique demons.
So be fiercely compassionate with yourself through the journey. Celebrate small wins like deleting a dating app for a day or respectfully ending fruitless conversations. Every little mindful choice to curb the FOMO beast gets you closer to the profound bonds and life satisfaction you crave.
I believe in each and every one of you beauties! Never lose sight of your power to manifest the epic love story you deserve.
Now if you’ll excuse me, this relationship coach has a hot date tonight…with the latest season of Bridgerton, a lush cabernet, and blessed alone time. NO DISTRACTIONS!
