Have you ever felt like the guy you’re seeing is giving you mixed signals? One minute he seems super into you, and the next he’s distant and noncommittal. As confusing as it is, this likely means he’s just not that interested in pursuing a relationship with you.
I’ve been there myself – wondering why he takes days to text back or makes last minute excuses to bail on plans. It stings when you really like someone, but the truth is that if a guy wants to be with you, he will make it obvious.
So how do you know if he’s actually into you or just stringing you along? Here are 5 clear signs that he’s probably not feeling it:
1. Conversations Are One-Sided
Face it – when you’re truly connecting with someone, the give and take flows naturally. You’ll both engage, ask questions, and share things about yourselves without forcing it.
But when you find yourself always initiating contact or carrying the conversational weight, it likely means he’s not invested. If he’s not reciprocating or keeping dialogue going, he’s just not that interested.
Men prioritize responding to and making time for the women they really want to pursue. So if your texts are sitting unanswered for days or he can’t be bothered to ask about your life, it’s a red flag.
2. He Flakes on Plans Frequently
Life happens. Sometimes schedule conflicts come up or he might genuinely need to cancel due to other priorities. But if last minute cancellations become a pattern, it usually means you’re just not a priority for him.
If he was truly excited to see you, he would make it happen. He’d suggest alternate days or times that work for rescheduling, not leave you hanging.
But when a guy frequently bails, doesn’t offer alternative plans, or ghosts you altogether, it signals one thing loud and clear – you’re simply not worth the effort to him.
3. There’s No Initiative on His Part
In the beginning of dating someone new, there’s usually mutual effort from both people to make plans and drive things forward.
But over time, you’ll notice a guy’s interest level in the way he pursues spending time with you. If you find yourself always being the one to initiate plans or push things to the next level, he’s likely not that enthused about locking things down.
Whether it’s asking you out, planning creative dates, introducing you to his friends, or talking about the future – a guy who wants to be with you will step up.
So if you’re stuck in a holding pattern of hooking up without any initiative from him to build intimacy, it’s a sign you’re better off moving on.
4. Non-Committal Responses
In the early days of dating, it’s normal not to define the relationship or have “the talk” right away. You’re simply getting to know each other and seeing where things go organically.
However, if you broach the subject of exclusivity after a few months and are met with indirect, vague responses, it’s likely he’s just not feeling the same way.
Phrases like “I’m having fun with you but don’t want to rush into anything serious” or “let’s just see where this goes” after you’ve been consistently seeing each other are major red flags.
Vague statements instead of direct communication signal he doesn’t see long term potential and is just coasting along until something better comes along. Don’t allow yourself to be strung along waiting for him to decide if he wants you. Know your worth and walk away.
5. Lack of Physical Connection
Intimacy is a cornerstone of romantic relationships. So if you’ve been dating awhile and notice a complete lack of physical touch, kissing, sex, etc., it’s often indicative of his disinterest.
Unless both people openly communicate wanting to take things slowly in that arena, consistent avoidance of physical connection after several dates or weeks of seeing each other reveals a lot.
If he’s not trying to sleep with you, it likely means he doesn’t have strong enough feelings to be attracted in that way. As hard as it is to hear, chemistry simply can’t be forced. Don’t make excuses for him or try to rationalize the reasons. You deserve to feel wanted too!
| He’s Into You | He’s Not Into You |
|---|---|
| Asks thoughtful questions about your life | Always redirects conversation back to himself |
| Actively pursues spending time together | Leaves you guessing about plans |
| Compliments your appearance and qualities | Rarely gives genuine praise |
| Makes an effort to connect physically | Avoids intimacy altogether |
| Talks about doing future activities together | Non-committal and vague about the future |
The reality is that a guy who truly wants you in his life will show you through his actions – not just empty words. When someone isn’t matching your energy or effort, you have to be brave enough to acknowledge the signs and walk away with dignity intact.
- You deserve to feel valued and cared for in a relationship
- Don’t rationalize or make excuses for insensitive behavior
- Prioritize your self worth over chasing disinterested men
At the end of the day, mixed signals simply mean he’s not the right guy for you long term. As soon as you recognize the key signs, you can cut your losses early and eventually meet someone who can’t wait to build a relationship with you. Stay true to yourself and never settle for less than you deserve!
Hope this gives you clarity when navigating unclear dating waters. Wishing you all the best in life and love!
I’m Sarah Koch, and I work as a Relationship Coach in Austin, Texas. I’ve been doing this job for more than 9 years. I studied Sociology and Counseling Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. My main goal is to help people create strong and happy relationships. I also wrote a book called “Irresistible Texting” to share my ideas on how to have better relationships through texting.
