Hilarious Responses for “What’s the Latest?”: 49+ Witty & Sarcastic Replies

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Sarah Koch


In my years of coaching experience, I often get asked “What’s the latest?” It’s a common small talk question, but can catch us off guard. The key is having some funny responses ready. Here are a few of my favorites:

  • “Well, I just discovered pineapples don’t actually grow on trees. My whole life is a lie!”
  • “I’m thinking of taking up extreme ironing. Seems like a pressing matter.”
  • “Just trying to get to the bottom of why hot dog buns come in packages of 8, but hot dogs in packages of 10.”

I find humorous responses take the edge off awkward social situations. They show you don’t take yourself too seriously, and allow you to pivot the conversation in unexpected directions.


“Oh just solving all the world’s problems over here.”

We’ve all been asked “What’s the latest?” when we’re clearly in the middle of something mundane. I like to joke that I’m solving huge issues, when in reality I just finished cleaning my bathroom.

Giving an exaggerated or sarcastic response flips the script in a lighthearted way. It catches the other person off guard and makes them curious about what you’re actually up to. From there, you can steer the dialogue in a more meaningful direction if you choose.

Other silly sarcastic replies:

  • Writing my Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech
  • Out back planting magic beans to grow a beanstalk into the clouds
  • Building a time machine out of a DeLorean
  • Having an intimate chat with the Queen of England


“Trying to figure out how I gained 5 pounds just by walking past a donut shop.”

I’m a big fan of funny self-deprecating humor. It shows we don’t take ourselves too seriously, while often being relatable.

Replies like this one poke fun at universal frustrations. We’ve all guiltily eyed those sugary treats in bakery windows. Making light of our lack of willpower breaks the ice. It gives the other person permission to open up about their own struggles.

More examples:

  • Googling “how to make bedhead look stylish”
  • On hold with the cable company for 45 minutes – might as well move in
  • Can’t find matching socks – coordination skills rapidly declining

Clever Comebacks

“Just chillin’ like a villain, as the youth say.”

I love using modern slang completely wrong. It shows I’m hip to what’s cool…or at least trying pathetically to be. Sayings like “just chillin’ like a villain”purposefully misuse popular phrases for comedic effect.

Other clever comebacks:

  • Living my best potatoes (instead of ‘living my best life’)
  • Feeling totally goat (instead of GOAT – greatest of all time)
  • Yeeting myself into the work week (using Yeet incorrectly)
  • Sick as a horse (opposite of sick as a dog)

Random Absurdity

“Wrestling an octopus in a vat of chocolate pudding.”

Sometimes being completely random and absurd is the way to go. Replies like this express imagination unbound by logic or reason. They transport the conversation into an alternate comic reality.

More examples:

  • Teaching calculus to a colony of fruit bats
  • In an interpretive dance battle with a sock puppet
  • Translating whale songs into country music ballads

Quirky Comebacks

“I just joined a competitive cherry pit spitting league.”

Leaning into our quirks and imperfections builds trust and connection. Responses like this one highlight an unusual hobby or interest in a lighthearted way.

Other quirky comebacks:

  • Perusing eBay for vintage eggbeaters to add to my collection
  • Putting together my application for NPR’s Sporkful podcast
  • Testing out recipes for my small appliance-themed dinner party

Playful Banter

“Oh just hanging upside working on my dad joke arsenal.”

Teasing and playful banter create moments of levity. Responses like this gently poke fun at ourselves so others feel comfortable chuckling too.

More examples:

  • Memorizing puns for upcoming comedy debut
  • Out back practicing my air guitar skills
  • Can’t talk now, the new Lego Death Star won’t build itself!

Pop Culture References

“On hour 17 of a Lord of the Rings extended edition marathon.”

Pop culture references give conversation an instant injection of relatability. Responses like this showcase our interests and what’s current in entertainment.

Other examples:

  • Listening to sea shanties, they really get me pumped
  • Planning my Ted Lasso-themed birthday party
  • Stuck in a Wordle spiral I can’t escape

Advice for Replying to Girls

When responding to women, funny should always be secondary to making them feel comfortable and understood. Lead by listening instead of preparing your next punchline.

Once you understand her perspective, sprinkle in humor to provide some levity. Self-deprecation tends to work better with women than sarcasm. Show you don’t take yourself too seriously.

Focus less on clever comebacks, more on comments that make her feel seen and heard. Making someone laugh is great, but laughter coupled with emotional connection is priceless.

Advice for Replying to Guys

With men, sarcasm and witty banter tend to land well. Don’t be afraid to challenge them intellectually and verbally spar. But make sure your funny replies aren’t at their expense.

Absurdity and randomness work for guys too. As does anything referring to sports, food, tech gear…stereotypical male interests. Know your audience and customize accordingly.

The common thread is showing emotional intelligence and knowing when humor simply isn’t appropriate. Read body language and respect boundaries. Laughter’s impact multiplies exponentially when sensitivity comes first.

Key Takeaways

  • Sarcastic exaggeration flips the script on mundane questions
  • Self-deprecating humor builds connections
  • Clever comebacks showcase wit and wordplay
  • Random absurdity sparks imagination and joy

The Spice of Life

Humor takes conversations from bland to bold. It makes life’s awkward moments not only tolerable, but downright hysterical. Keeping a mental list of funny replies spices up stale small talk by adding an element of surprise.

So next time someone asks “What’s the latest?”, shock and delight them with your wit. Just don’t forget the heavy dose of heart that makes humor hit home.

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