Funny Responses to “What Took You So Long?”

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Sarah Koch


For me the best funny response to “What Took You So Long?” is to say “I didn’t realize I was keeping the Queen of England waiting!”

Here are some lighthearted ways to respond when someone asks why you’re late.

Hilarious Excuses

I was catching up on my beauty sleep

We all need our beauty rest, right? This funny excuse playfully dodges responsibility by implying you were napping instead of getting ready. It’s sure to get a laugh while avoiding placing blame.

Below are more silly excuses you can try when asked what took so long.

  • I was picking out my outfit – it’s harder than it looks!
  • The dog ate my watch so I lost track of time.
  • I thought we were meeting 30 minutes later. My bad!
  • I got distracted petting neighborhood cats. Too cute to rush by!
  • My goldfish was telling me his life story. Didn’t want to be rude!

Witty Comebacks

Sorry, I didn’t realize being on time was such a priority

This comeback lightheartedly calls out the question by hinting you didn’t know punctuality mattered so much here. It playfully dodges admitting fault.

Gently suggesting the issue lies with their expectations rather than your behavior keeps the mood upbeat. Below find more cheeky comebacks.

  • Wow, someone’s impatient today!
  • Blame my warped sense of time. I should get that checked out.
  • Yikes, is that a gray hair from the stress of me being late?
  • Didn’t mean to interrupt your busy schedule of staring at the wall.
  • My deepest apologies. Next time I’ll bring a red carpet for my grand entrance!

Funny Blames

It’s my evil twin’s fault – she set all my clocks back!

Inventing an imaginary twin provides an absurd excuse that will get laughs. It avoids blame by redirecting at a fictional person.

See more playful blames below for why you took so long.

  • A herd of turtles blocked the road – they move reeeeally slow!
  • Aliens stopped me to ask for directions back to Mars.
  • I found a lucky penny and had to take the long way for good luck!
  • A unicorn hijacked my car hoping to find rainbows.
  • Einstein’s theory of relativity is making time move slower for me. Weird!

Lighthearted Comments

Well excuuuuse me for not teleporting here!

This sarcastic remark humorously implies teleportation is the expectation. It’s an exaggerated way to dodge responsibility that will likely get chuckles.

Find more joking comments below.

  • I didn’t realize I was keeping the Queen of England waiting!
  • So sorry, I didn’t have a police escort to control traffic for me.
  • My time machine must be malfunctioning again. Darn finicky thing!
  • I left my magic instant transportation hat at home today. Whoops!
  • Next time I’ll just hitch a ride on a passing comet! Much faster.

How to Reply to a Girl

Girls often appreciate humor and plays on stereotypes when responding to being late.

Try lighthearted excuses that make her laugh or exaggerated apologies that show you don’t take yourself too seriously. Some playful replies when a girl asks what took you so long:

“So embarrassing…I was trying on outfits and lost track of time! You understand the struggle, right?”

“I’m blaming crazy female hormones. They’re messing with my internal clock!”

“Ugh, sorry! I helped an old lady cross the street then got stuck listening to her whole life story.”

How to Reply to a Guy

Guys frequently favor sarcasm and absurdist humor. Lean into stereotypes about men being oblivious or quirky.

Some humorous ways to reply when a guy asks why you’re late:

“My sports game ran long – we HAD to see who won!”

“I stopped to pet EVERY dog I saw. Don’t judge me!”

“Believe it or not, I was saving the planet from an alien invasion. You’re welcome!”

Key Takeaways

Go Lighthearted. Don’t get defensive – keep it funny!

Make ‘Em Laugh. Humor and exaggeration are your best friends.

It’s Not That Serious. Keep things upbeat instead of over-explaining.

In Conclusion…

Getting asked “What took you so long?” doesn’t have to be negative. With playful replies focused on inciting laughs rather than crafting elaborate excuses, you can turn an annoyance into a chance to spread humor and strengthen connections.

So next time someone asks about your tardiness, unleash your wittiest one-liner! A dose of lightheartedness makes any situation better.

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