Funny Responses to “New Phone Who Dis?”: 49+ Sassy & Quirky Replies

“New Phone Who Dis?” The dreaded text that sparks confusion and embarrassment. But worry not! I’ve got your back with a hilarious collection of witty comebacks to leave the sender scratching their head (in the best way possible).

We’ve all been there – you get a text from an unknown number, and the classic “New phone who dis?” pops up on your screen. It’s a scenario that can be both puzzling and cringe-worthy. But fear not, my friends!

“New phone who dis?” is a common text that people receive from unknown numbers, often when someone has gotten a new phone and hasn’t updated their contacts. It’s a way for the person with the new phone to figure out who they’re talking to. The simplest and most straightforward response is: “Sorry, you have the wrong number.”

This politely lets the sender know they’ve reached someone they didn’t intend to, without any unnecessary back-and-forth.

But where’s the fun in that? If you’re feeling a bit mischievous, you can take this interaction to a whole new level of hilarity. Strap yourselves in, folks, because we’re about to embark on a wild ride through the wonderful world of witty comebacks!

Sassy Responses That’ll Leave ‘Em Shook

“New phone, who’s this?”

You want to know who I am? Well, buckle up, because I’m about to take you on a roller coaster of confusion. I’m the ghost of phone calls past, here to haunt you with the memories of all the unanswered texts and missed calls. Spooky, isn’t it?

Read on for more knee-slapping replies:

  • “Sorry, I don’t give out personal information to strangers. But if you really want to know, I’m the Queen of England.”
  • “New phone, old soul. Wanna hear some dad jokes?”
  • “You’ve reached the Bermuda Triangle of phone numbers. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”
  • “This is the Psychic Hotline. I foresaw your text, and my spirit guides told me to hit you with this zinger.”
  • “I’m the new AI assistant for [celebrity name]. How may I be of service?”
  • “It’s me, your conscience. I’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.”
  • “You’ve won a free vacation! Just provide your credit card number and social security information to claim your prize.”
  • “This is the Number Fairy. I’m here to grant you three wishes, but you’ll have to guess my name first.”
  • “Hello, you’ve reached the batmobile’s direct line. Press 1 for crime-fighting emergencies, 2 for cape repairs.”

Playful Banter

“Is this a prank? Because I’m not falling for it.”

Ah, the classic prank suspicion! You’ve got to admire their skepticism. A little playful back-and-forth can be just the thing to lighten the mood and show off your sparkling wit.

Check out these cheeky options:

  • “No prank here, just a friendly ghost looking for a new haunt.”
  • “I’m not a prank, but I can be your new imaginary friend if you’d like!”
  • “Prank? Oh honey, this is no prank. This is a cry for help from your future self.”
  • “If this is a prank, it’s a darn good one! I’m totally bamboozled over here.”
  • “No pranks, just a bot from the year 3022 coming to you from the metaverse.”
  • “Is this the prank police? You’re under arrest for suspicion of humor.”
  • “I don’t do pranks, but I do impersonations. Would you like to hear my best Christopher Walken?”
  • “Prank? This is the universe playing a cosmic joke on both of us.”
  • “No prank, just an interdimensional being looking for its next vessel. That’s you, by the way.

Quirky Pick-Up Lines

“Hey there, are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.”

Shameless flirting is the name of the game! Why not hit ’em with a cheesy pick-up line? Who knows, you might just charm the pants off your unsuspecting texter (figuratively speaking, of course).

Here are some real knee-slappers to try out:

  • “I seem to have lost my phone number…can I have yours instead?”
  • “If being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!”
  • “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you’re the only ten-I-see!”
  • “Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.”
  • “Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.”
  • “Are you a keyboard? Because you’re just my type!”
  • “If you were a transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine.”
  • “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!”
  • “Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?”

Respond With Another Question

“New phone who dis? No, who dis?”

Two can play at this game! Turning the tables with a question of your own keeps them on their toes. The possibilities are endless when you respond with another inquisitive zinger.

Have a look at these perplexing replies:

  • “Great question, but I have one for you first – why is a square meal called a square meal?”
  • “I’ll tell you who dis is if you can tell me how much wood a woodchuck could chuck.”
  • “I’m not sure, but more importantly – what did one ocean say to the other ocean?”
  • “Who dis? No no no, the real question is – why is there a ‘D’ in ‘fridge’ but not in ‘refrigerator’?”
  • “”Who dis?” Well, who dat is what I want to know.”
  • “I’ll answer your question if you can explain why ‘overlook’ and ‘oversee’ mean opposite things.”
  • “Before we get to that, let me ask you this: what kind of shoes do frogs wear? Opentoad!”
  • “I’m afraid I can’t disclose that information. Riddle me this instead: What gets wetter the more it dries?”
  • “Sorry, I don’t have an answer for that. But I DO have a joke – why can’t a bicycle stand up by itself?”

Kids These Days

“omg stacyyy ur never gonna believe what just happenedddd”

Take it back to your youth and channel that teenage energy! Responding with something a high schooler would say is sure to baffle and amuse.

Check out these cringingly hilarious options:

  • “sup? just kickin it, eatin hot chip and lying”
  • “ew david stopp, ur like, totes embarrassing me rn”
  • “new phone?? spill the tea, okkuurrrttt!”
  • “and i oop- sksksksksk” makes keyboard smashing sounds
  • “Hey bby 😉 want sum NUDESsends pictures of loaves of bread
  • “gurlllfriennnd u better werk that new phone cape realness!”
  • “lowkey no lie, this new phone is str8 fire emojiii”
  • “whoever is texting me is a total narc, fr fr no cap”
  • “that’s totes incredz! let’s throw a litt rager and rage!”

Channeling Your Inner Weirdo

“Please leave a message after the oink oink of the pig sounds.”

Embrace your inner eccentric and let that freak flag fly! Being unapologetically bizarre will have them double-checking if they have the right number.

Check out these gleefully weird responses:

  • “Helloooo, you’ve reached the Bermuda Triangle. Please hold while I retrieve your lost socks.”
  • screams into the phone like a banshee for 10 seconds straight “Sorry, force of habit.”
  • “Welcome to Crazy Cat Person’s phone line. How may I assist you with your feline needs?”
  • “I am The Keeper of the Portal. Password, please?” intense whispering
  • high-pitched giggling followed by a sinister growl “You’ve awakened something dark within me.”
  • “Ah, greetings fellow space traveler! Have you also been blessed with the gift of tentacles?”
  • “My dog ate my phone, can I borrow your leg to take this call?”
  • speaks entirely in dolphin noises and clicks for 30 seconds straight
  • “It is I, Zarthog the Inscrutable from the 9th Dimension. Fear me and my powerful flip phone.”

Beating Them At Their Own Game

“New phone? More like who new? Am I right???”

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em…then expertly one-up them! A play on their already silly opener is a fun way to match their energy while asserting your comedic dominance.

Try out these clever twists:

  • “New phone, who pis? Because that’s what this convo is looking like!”
  • “New phone, who diz? Why, I’m the disembodied voice here to haunt your mobile device!”
  • “New phone? New you, that’s who this is calling!”
  • “Nu fone hu dat? Sry dis is Shrekophone quality line.”
  • “New phone? More like new problem, amirite?? slaps knee comedically
  • “Wow wow wow, new phone who what now? I’m the one asking the questions here, buster!”
  • “New fone? More like…new BONE to pick with whoever thought this was a good opener!”
  • “Why are you calling me new phone? This is an antique landline from the 1800s!”
  • “Did you just say ‘new phone who dis’ to me? How dafuhntly dare you!!”

Leaning Into The Confusion

“Wait…this isn’t the number for the butterfly petting zoo??”

Play it cool by feigning utter bewilderment. Act as though you’ve landed in the wrong dimension entirely. Absurdity is the name of the game!

Here are some flabbergasted replies to try:

  • “Strange, my calculator app seems to be texting me back now…”
  • “Did I get rerouted to the oldies radio station request line? ‘Cause I’d like to dedicate a song.”
  • “Oh no! Did I accidentally join a cult again? You guys have snacks right?”
  • confused silence “Uhh…who are you again? I seem to have forgotten every personal detail about myself.”
  • “You’ve reached Ghosts Я Us, how may we haunt you today?”
  • “Apologies, I think there’s been a mixup – I was trying to text my spirit animal.”
  • “Shoot, did I wander into a time warp again? What year is this?!”
  • “New phone? What is this strange communication device you speak of?”
  • “I don’t have a new phone. This is a psychic message being transmitted directly into your mind.”

How to Reply to a Girl

When a girl texts you “new phone who dis?”, the game is afoot! Here are some flirtatious yet respectful ways to respond:

  • “New phone, new opportunity to get to know a brilliant girl like yourself! I’m [your name].”
  • “Allow me to reintroduce myself – I’m [name], the smoothest operator you’ll ever text.”
  • “Why hello there! I’m [name], and you just accidentally dialed up a whole lot of charm.”
  • “You’ve reached Heaven’s Most Eligible Bachelor Hotline. How may I be of service, beautiful?”
  • “Is this Beauty? Because I’m pretty sure I just got a text from the Beast’s new enchanted smartphone.”

Be playful, confident, and show off that sparkling wit! But most importantly, keep things respectful. You want to leave her chuckling, not cringing.

How to Reply to a Guy

If it’s a guy asking “new phone who dis?”, a different set of tactics may apply. Try these guy-tailored zingers:

  • “Jersey Mike’s Subs, how may I take your order?” waits for a hilariously confused response
  • “Yo dude, you’ll never guess who’s got the freshest new digits in town – THIS GUY!”
  • “John? Steve? Bob? Yeah none of those are ringing a bell my man, you got the wrong number.”
  • “9-1-1 emergency services, what is your emergency?” pause for great comedic effect “Just kidding bro!”
  • “Did you get a new phone, or did the new phone get you? Because I’m thoroughly bamboozled here.”

Keep it laid-back, dude-to-dude, and pepper in some light-hearted ball-busting. As long as you don’t cross any lines, guys tend to appreciate a clever back-and-forth.

Key Takeaways: How to Slay the “New Phone Who Dis?” Game

1) Keep It Fun & Playful – When someone pops that awkward greeting, the best policy is to reply with humor and whimsy. Don’t take it too seriously!

2) Get Creative! – Draw inspiration from silly remarks, witty wordplay, faux-confusion, or good old-fashioned sarcasm. The sillier the response, the better!

3) Avoid Meanness – While engaging in harmless tomfoolery, always keep your replies good-natured. Punching down is a no-no.

Laughter: Nature’s Brightest Filter

In this crazy, hectic world, finding moments of levity is crucial. My hope is that these funny response ideas have armed you with tools to transform cringeworthy situations into laugh-out-loud adventures. Because at the end of the day, humor is one of nature’s brightest filters – helping us see past the awkward and appreciate the endearingly absurd.

As a life coach, I can’t emphasize enough the value of being able to laugh at yourself and roll with the punches. Maintaining your sense of playfulness in the face of life’s little mysteries is a vital ingredient to your overall harmony. So go forth, pepper your texts with whimsy, and maybe you’ll forge a few delightfully bizarre new connections in the process.

After all, what’s the point of having a “new phone” if you can’t use it to confidently declare your status as the new Jester of Jest? Because when it comes to that dreaded “who dis?”, hilarity reigns supreme.

I'm Sarah Koch, a Relationship Coach based in Austin, Texas. With over 9 years of professional experience and degrees in Sociology and Counseling Psychology from UT Austin, I specialize in helping people build healthy, fulfilling relationships. On this blog, you'll find practical tips and insightful guidance for improving communication, resolving conflicts, increasing intimacy, and fostering deeper connections in your romantic relationships, family dynamics, friendships and more.

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Mrs & The Misc is a passion project from life coach and mom Sarah Koch. With a background in psychology and years of empowering personal growth, Sarah shares bite-sized wisdom and practical tools for fostering healthy relationships, achieving goals, elevating well-being, and living with intention.


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