As a lifestyle blogger focusing on fashion, relationships, and health, I often write about self-care and self-love. However, it’s easy to forget to practice what you preach when life gets busy. Recently, I realized I was feeling disconnected from myself and lacked self-compassion. I knew it was time to rediscover how to love myself again.
So I did some soul-searching and asked friends for advice. After some trial and error, I found seven excellent ways to reconnect with yourself when you’ve lost your way. Whether you’re overwhelmed, heartbroken, or just spread too thin, these tips can guide you back to self-love.
1. Take Some “Me Time” Every Day
When life feels hectic, finding time for yourself often falls by the wayside. However, a little bit of alone time goes a long way.
- Set aside 15-30 minutes per day to do something relaxing that you enjoy.
- Put your phone away and avoid social media or email.
- Options include reading, journalling, stretching, or meditating.
- Taking this breather helps calm your mind, boost your mood, and remember your needs.
Making “me time” a consistent daily habit reconnects you with your inner voice.
2. Write Down What You Love About Yourself
When you’re down, it’s easy to obsess over your faults. However, focusing on the good helps build confidence and self-worth.
- Set a timer for five minutes and make a list of things you love about yourself.
- Include physical traits, talents, accomplishments, values, and personality quirks.
- Let it flow without self-judgement or limiting beliefs.
- When finished, read this list aloud while looking in a mirror.
Seeing your reflection while speaking positives about yourself is powerful. Repeat this exercise whenever you’re feeling insecure.
3. Challenge Your Inner Critic
That cruel voice inside your head can seriously damage your self-image if you let it. When your inner critic pipes up with a hurtful comment, talk back.
- Identify the insult and write it down, e.g. “you’re so stupid” or “you’re ugly.”
- Explain why this attack is untrue, unrealistic, or unfair.
- Replace it with a compassionate thought, e.g. “I’m human and make mistakes” or “all bodies are beautiful.”
- Visualize giving your inner critic compassion while speaking this positive phrase.
It takes practice, but talking back builds self-trust and quiets cruel self-talk. Be patient, yet firm.
4. Set Loving Boundaries
Caring too much what others think leads to sacrificing your needs to please them. Take back your power by establishing boundaries.
- What behaviors or comments from others feel hurtful or controlling? Make a list.
- Decide what is and isn’t okay for you to accept from others.
- Calmly inform those who cross your boundaries to stop specific behaviors.
- Be prepared to limit contact with those who won’t respect your limits.
You deserve relationships where your dignity and needs matter. Demand loving treatment with open and honest communication.
5. Check Your Negative Biases
Childhood experiences and societal messaging can install harmful biases about ourselves and certain groups. Uncovering these can profoundly impact self-love.
- Explore your beliefs around gender, race, age, ability, size, sexuality, etc. Do you make unfair generalizations?
- Challenge stereotypes and preconceptions by exposing yourself to diverse opinions and experiences.
- Question where self-limiting beliefs came from and if they serve your growth and happiness.
- Let go of biases holding you or others back from self-love.
The more you expand your worldview, the more you understand all people deserve compassion.
|Healthy Ways to Challenge Biases Towards Yourself and Others
|Read diverse books/blogs
|Follow activists on social media
|Attend cultural events outside your experience
|Discuss issues with open-minded friends
|Check news sources presenting alternative views
|Volunteer with marginalized groups
Table 1. Actions to challenge harmful stereotypes and treat all people with dignity.
6. Practice Self-Compassion
Beating yourself up over mistakes or looks destroys self-confidence. Counteract this through self-compassion.
- Talk to yourself like you would a dear friend after a setback. Offer encouragement rather than criticism.
- When feeling inadequate, acknowledge this as part of the shared human experience instead of a personal failing.
- Make a self-care action plan for hard times, including soothing activities, supportive contacts, motivational reading, etc. Follow it when you get down on yourself.
- Work on accepting both your perfections and imperfections. You don’t need to be flawless to be worthy of love.
Treating yourself with gentle understanding builds emotional resilience and inner peace.
7. Add Positivity To Your Environment
Surrounding yourself with affirming messages boosts self-worth, while toxic input does the opposite. Curate your environment for self-love.
- Limit time with media, people, or groups encouraging self-judgement, consumerism, or comparison.
- Follow social media accounts promoting self-acceptance over perfectionism.
- Decorate spaces with inspirational quotes, supportive photos, empowering artwork.
- Keep a gratitude journal listing daily positive experiences and accomplishments.
- Cultivate community with others working through self-image challenges.
What you feed your mind daily matters. Nourish it with loving words, images, and connections.
Making time for self-care and speaking back to your inner critic are essential first steps when you lose your way to self-love. As you forgive flaws, establish boundaries, challenge biases, and opt for positivity, be sure you also practice self-compassion. Loving yourself unconditionally takes work but pays off exponentially in happiness, confidence, and resilience. You are always worthy.