8 Crucial Steps for Divorcing a Narcissist and Reclaiming Your Life

Mrs And The Misc may earn commission from the links on this page, but we only ever share brands that we love and trust.

Sarah Koch

|

Alright, let’s cut to the chase.

You’re here because you’re entangled in a relationship with a narcissist, and it feels like you’ve been cast in a never-ending episode of “Survivor: Emotional Rollercoaster Edition.”

But fret not! and follow me…

Step 1: Acknowledge What’s Going On (Yup, They’re a Narcissist)

First things first, we gotta call a spade a spade. You’re not losing your mind – they are a full-blown narcissist. The constant gaslighting, the grandiose self-image, the utter lack of empathy – these aren’t figments of your imagination. It’s like they’ve taken a page straight out of the Narcissism 101 playbook.

Newsflash: Realizing this is crucial. If you’ve ever wondered if you are overreacting, let me assure you, you’re not. Identity the problem so you know exactly what you’re dealing with. This isn’t just a bad relationship; it’s emotional warfare.

Step 2: Gather Your Support Squad (No, Your Cat Doesn’t Count)

Okay, so we’ve faced the facts. Next up: no one fights a dragon alone. Gather your support squad. Think close friends, supportive family members, and trusted professionals. You might feel like a bother venting your frustrations, but true friends will understand. Believe me, you’re gonna need both a shoulder to cry on and a battle strategist.

And no, while your cat is super therapeutic, they’re not the ideal battle buddy for this particular mission.

Step 3: Lawyer Up (And Not Just Any Lawyer, a Kick-Ass One)

It’s time to get your legal ducks in a row. Find a lawyer who specializes in high-conflict divorces. Trust me, facing a narcissist in court is not for the faint of heart. You need someone who has zero tolerance for B.S. and can see through the narcissist’s charm and deceit.

A good attorney will not only protect your interests but also keep you grounded. Think of them as your Gandalf, guiding you through the labyrinth of legal drama. Remember: You Shall Not Pass without a solid legal plan.

Step 4: Create a Safe Exit Strategy (Think Mission: Impossible)

Leaving a narcissist is a bit like escaping from Alcatraz. You need a rock-solid plan. Start by securing all your important documents (marriage certificate, financial records, etc.), and stash away funds if you can.

If you live together, figure out a safe place to go when you drop the bomb. Whether it’s a friend’s couch or an Airbnb, the goal is to have a secure zone where the narcissist can’t reach you.

Step 5: Go No Contact or Low Contact (Block, Mute, Repeat)

This one’s essential: go no contact if possible, or at the very least, low contact. Narcissists thrive on control and contact – they’ll try every tactic in the book to reel you back in. Their favorite? Love bombing – showering you with affection and promises of change. Trust me, it’s all fluff.

Block them on social media, change your phone number, and redirect emails to a separate folder if you must. It’s like going on a digital detox, but instead of eliminating sugar and carbs, you’re eliminating toxicity.

Step 6: Prioritize Self-Care (Hello, Spa Day… And Therapy)

You’ve just escaped from a psychological minefield. Self-care isn’t just pampering; it’s survival. Whether it’s yoga, painting, binge-watching your favorite sitcom, or crying your eyes out with your bestie – do what YOU need to refill your tank.

Professional therapy can be a game-changer here. Find a therapist who understands narcissistic abuse. It’s a bit like hiring a personal trainer, but for your mental and emotional well-being. Trust me, you’re worth it.

Step 7: Rebuild Your Identity (Who Are You Without Them?)

One of the nastiest tricks narcissists pull off is making you doubt your worth. Time to reconnect with who you really are. Remember that hobby you loved but gave up? Or the friends you lost touch with?

It’s time for a revival tour of You 2.0. Travel, take up new activities, rekindle old friendships. Make your happiness a priority – because guess what? You freaking deserve it.

Step 8: Keep Moving Forward (One Badass Step at a Time)

Finally, keep moving forward. Progress isn’t about perfection; it’s about persistence. You’ll have good days where you feel like a warrior, and other days where you can barely crawl out of bed. That’s okay.

Celebrate small victories: whether it’s reclaiming a piece of your heart or simply surviving another day without falling for their tactics. You are not alone in this journey. Keep a journal, note your progress, and pat yourself on the back often.

Nicole Kidman once said, “The best revenge is living well.” So go out, live well, and show ’em what you’re made of. Because, my friend, better days are ahead, and you’re headed for greatness.