10 Signs a Girl With a Boyfriend Likes You: Reality of Mixed Signals

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Sarah Koch

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Catching feelings for someone who’s already boo’d up. It’s the WORST, right?

One sec they’re laughing a little too hard at your jokes, and the next they’re talking about their boyfriend’s new promotion.

Ugh, the mixed signals! The confusion! The deep sense of longing and regret!

What’s a guy (or gal) to do when you suspect a taken someone is crushing on you too? Well, I’m here with some clarification on those murky vibes to help decode: Does she really like me, or is she just being friendly?

Because getting caught up in an emotional affair is zero fun for anyone involved. But completely missing out on a potential connection by misreading the signs? That hurts too!

So let’s break down the most telling behaviors when a girlfriend may be catching feelings for you on the low…with plenty of terrible advice and wildly inappropriate jokes along the way, of course.

You know how I do.

1. She Makes Intense Eye Contact

Eyes: the windows to the soul…and occasionally, sure signs of wandering romantic interest.

If her gaze lingers a little too long, she stares at your lips when you talk, or her expression gets all soft and smitten when you crack a stupid pun – those are solid indicators she’s digging you.

But don’t just take my word for it! Numerous studies show that eye contact and mutual gaze are crucial for sexual attraction and arousal.

So if you find yourself trapped in a lusty staring contest every time you hang out, that’s totally grounds to start writing cheesy poetry about her dreamy baby blues. Kidding! Don’t do that, you creep.

2. She Turns Into a Flustered Mess Around You

We’ve all experienced getting so turned on by someone that we become blubbering idiots in their presence, right? No? Just me?

Well, if a girlfriend acts klutzy, fidgety, or just straight up loses her ability to formulate complete sentences when you’re around, consider it a sign of some serious underlying sexual tension.

Think: awkward laughing, playing with her hair, blushing up a storm. We’re talking full-on awkward teen rom-com levels of bumbling adorableness.

Of course, she could just struggle with basic social skills – but let’s be honest, we all like to believe we have that kind of raw sexual magnetism.

3. She Constantly Teases & Playfully Picks Fights

Some people express their affection and flirtation through obnoxious amounts of teasing, crass jokes, and faux arguments. Poorly-channeled unresolved sexual tension, am I right?

If a girl who already has a partner spends an unusual amount of time busting your chops, starting silly debates, or being a straight-up brat just to get your riled up and bantering with her, take note!

It might just be her way of keeping the flirtatious vibe alive while maintaining plausible deniability. After all, she can just claim “I was joking, you tool!” if you actually call her out.

4. She Finds Excuses to Linger & Be Near You

This one is pretty self-explanatory – if a girl with a bf goes out of her way to position herself near you, extends your hangouts longer than necessary, or relentlessly seeks you out in group settings, she’s probably feeling some type of way about you.

Now, everyone likes to be the center of attention sometimes. But there’s a difference between normal levels of social proximity and going full Overly Attached Girlfriend on you.

Maybe she “forgets” things specifically so you’ll have to walk her to her car. Perhaps she always volunteers to be your workout buddy or make snack runs with you. If her excuses to spend extra one-on-one time with you start sounding flimsier than a IKEA dresser, it’s definitely a red flag (or is it a green light? Consent is complicated, folks).

5. She Showers You With Compliments

I’ll say it loud for the people in the back: excessive compliments from a taken person can absolutely indicate romantic interest!

I mean, we should all feel free to hype up our friends and tell them they look great. Self-esteem boosts for everyone!

But if a girlfriend is relentlessly gushing over how cute/funny/smart you are to the point of making it awkward, or piling on outrageous flattery that seems a bit too…flirtatious, she’s probably trying to hint that she wants to be more than just pals.

The real sign? If her compliments suddenly get weirdly sexual or objectifying. Like, “You’re so handsome, I don’t know how you’re still single” is pretty tame. “I can’t stop thinking about your muscular thighs” is…a lot more suspect.

6. She Tries to Downplay or Hide Her Relationship

On the flip side, if a girl never talks about or acknowledges her boyfriend (despite clearly being in a relationship), that raises some red flags too.

People who are happily committed and secure in their partnerships don’t usually feel the need to be so hush-hush about it. They’ll proudly claim their person!

But someone who intentionally omits mentioning they’re taken, avoids the topic entirely, or even lies about having a boyfriend? Classic sign she’s trying to keep her options open and her interest in you alive.

Call me cynical, but keeping you in the dark about her relationship status to preserve some vague romantic hope is just sketchy, shady behavior.

7. She Brings Up Sexual Topics & Makes Risque Jokes

Personally, I believe that being able to have frank, mature conversations about sex is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship or friendship. Normalize that pillow talk, am I right?

But if an attached girl keeps trying to steer your chitchat in an overtly raunchy direction, frequently makes inappropriate jokes or lurid comments, or is just weirdly obsessed with making sex the topic of discussion every time you’re together, it could mean she wants those conversations to become real scenarios. Catch my drift?

A taken woman who’s funny and outgoing will definitely have no filter whatsoever. But if her racy sense of humor seems overly targeted at you, or she makes it uncomfortably personal, she might just be manifesting some unfulfilled desires.

8. She Gets Weirdly Jealous Over Other Interests

I think we can all agree that jealousy is pretty toxic in excess. No one likes the Shakespearean levels of dramatic, unhinged envy some future Karens exhibit over minor things.

That said? A subtle twinge of jealousy, if displayed appropriately, could suggest she has more than friendly feelings at play.

If a girl with a bf seems unreasonably irritated, annoyed or salty when you mention pursuing other romantic interests or happening, it could indicate she wants to keep you on lockdown for herself.

Like, if you vent about a recent breakup and she looks WAY too giddy about your newfound single status. Or she acts visibly disgruntled whenever you engage with other women. It may not be intentional, but it implies a vested interest beyond just friendship.

9. She Tries to Manufacture Physical Contact Constantly

We all know physical touch is a huge part of how humans experience intimacy, romantic affection, and sexual chemistry. From handshakes to bear hugs, touch deprivation is a very real thing!

But if a taken girl takes every possible opportunity to touch you – even in small, insignificant ways – it starts to feel less friendly and more flirtatious.

Watch out for “accidental” grazings, frequent hugs that last a beat too long, playful shoving or hand-holding taken to the next level, literal sitting on your lap, etc.

If she finds reasons to initiate physical contact with you at every turn, it means she craves that intimacy and wants to create a tactile connection between you, even if she can’t outright say it.

10. She Directly Tells You She Has Feelings!

I know this sounds crazy, but hear me out – sometimes people actually communicate their thoughts and emotions! Wild concept, I know.

If a girl straight up admits that she’s been developing a crush on you or has feelings beyond friendship despite being in a relationship already, well…I think that’s a pretty clear sign she likes you, don’t you?

It takes major guts to be that direct about emotional infidelity. Even if she can’t act on those feelings, her honesty about the attraction at least shows she respects you enough to put it all out there.

That said, getting tangled up with someone who’s actively expressing romantic interest while committed to someone else is murky territory, to say the least. Proceed with caution, boundaries, and open communication if you want to keep things above board.

To Pursue or Not to Pursue?

So there you have it – the top tell-tale signs a taken queen is catching feelings for you. But the bigger question is, what do you actually do with that information?

Well, that depends on your own moral compass and boundaries. Do you pursue your attraction, even if it means instigating cheating? Or do you shut it down completely to avoid the drama? There’s no universal right answer.

Personally, I’m a firm believer that if you realize a mutual romantic spark while she’s still boo’d up, you should make your intentions crystal clear in a very straightforward conversation. Then it’s up to her to either end her current relationship to pursue things with you ethically or remove you from the equation entirely.

Why? Because playing those childish games of mixed signals, plausible deniability and will-they-won’t-they tensions rarely works out well in the long run. Someone always ends up feeling hurt, used or betrayed.

At the end of the day, the healthiest approach is to give people the respect and autonomy to make their own choices, free of sneaky manipulation tactics or blurred emotional lines.

If it’s meant to be, it will be – you just have to have the courage to put everything out on the table, no matter how awkward. And if she’s really catching feelings too? She’ll show you through more than just mixed signals.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date to emotionally manipulate just kidding! I’m going to start drafting my future career as a polyamory coach.

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