Responses When A Girl Replies Late

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Sarah Koch


Girl didn’t text back? Got left on read? Here are 30 witty comebacks when she eventually responds.

I remember how anxious I used to feel in the old days of SMS when that little “…” bubble would appear on my Nokia 3310. Is she writing an essay or what?! Fast forward to today with iMessage, WhatsApp, etc. and now we get to agonize over being left on “read.” Fun times!

If you can relate, check out my favorite sassy, funny, and flirty responses to use for whenever she finally texts you back.

30 Savage Responses For Late Repliers

First things first, don’t overthink it too much! There’s usually a perfectly normal reason for delayed replies. Maybe she had work, class, family stuff or just needed some “me time.”

Anyway, when she does text back try one of these:

New phone, who dis?

I know it’s been 84 years but…

Look who decided to show up!

I was starting to think you got abducted by aliens.

You must have just got back from touring the pyramids.

Did you have to get a carrier pigeon to send that text?

I thought you fell off the face of the earth for a sec.

Ghost sound effects OooOOOoOoOo

I almost thought we lost you to the dark side.

I was about to send out a search party!

Who are you again? My contacts deleted.

Had to dig up this old fossil of a chat.

Had to carbon date your last text, damn.

What took you so long, did you stop to smell the roses?

So what’s this… you reach out every leap year?

I knew you’d be back, they always come back. 😏

I was starting to take it personally tbh.

Sends virtual search party

I missed you like a fat kid misses cake.

I haven’t heard from you since Moses wore short pants!

Did you fall into the Sarlacc pit or what?

Sends virtual carrier pigeon to retrieve text

My great grandkids say hi.

I almost deleted your number from my rotary phone.

I know you got my telegram 3 fortnights ago m’lady.

I was about to alert the elders of the internet.

So…what’s new with the dinosaurs?

Who’s your carrier, smoke signals?

I got cell service before your text came through.

I’ve heard rumors faster than your reply. 🤭

When To Use These Responses

These responses are best used for:

  • Friends or potential romantic partners
  • Lighthearted teasing about poor text response times
  • Breaking the tension when someone finally gets back to you after ages

When To Avoid These Responses

Don’t use these responses when:

  • Dealing with someone going through serious personal issues
  • A superior at school or work messages you late

Now let’s look at more categories of sassy comebacks!

Funny Responses

We all love to bust out some humorous replies when the conversation permits. Here are funny ways to tell her you ain’t desperate after all:

  1. New contact, who dis? Classic amnesia trick.
  2. At last, she speaks! Summon your inner explorer.
  3. Let me go dig up this fossil of a chat. Jurassic snark.
  4. Where you been at gurl, on vacay from replying?? Valley girl sass.
  5. Wow and I thought you got abducted by aliens. In touch with your imaginary side.
  6. Had to carbon date your last text, damn. Ice cold scientific shade.
  7. I know you got my telegram 3 fortnights ago m’lady. Tips fedora humorously.
  8. Ghost sound effects OooOOOoOoOo Channel your supernatural spoof skills.
  9. I was about to send out a search party! Unleash your rescue team.
  10. I know it’s been 84 years but… Drop Titanic references.

I don’t know about you but I’m in stitches already! 😂

Savage Responses

When you’re feelin’ fiery, try out these savage clap backs to really stick it to slow texters:

  1. New phone, who dis? Ultimate rejection text.
  2. Look who decided to show up! Saltier than Lot’s wife.
  3. I was starting to take it personally tbh. Honest burns hurt most.
  4. So what’s this… you reach out every leap year? Absolutely frigid.
  5. I knew you’d be back, they always come back. Cocky yet self-aware flex.
  6. I haven’t heard from you since Moses wore short pants! Biblical brutality.
  7. Did you fall into the Sarlacc pit or what? Lean into obscure disses.
  8. My great grandkids say hi. Rapid aging jab.
  9. Who’s your carrier, smoke signals? Destroy ’em on a cellular level. 📱
  10. I’ve heard rumors faster than your reply. Twitter would be proud. 🐦

And that’s how you slay slay! 🙌

Flirty Responses

If you wanna get your flirt on, try these cheeky replies on for size when she eventually hits your line:

  1. I missed you like a fat kid misses cake. Sweet talker. 🎂
  2. Where have you been hiding gorgeous? Lay down the charm.
  3. I was starting to think you were ghosting me. Vulnerable sincerity.
  4. I haven’t heard from you since Moses wore short pants! Then shoot a winky face. 😉
  5. Did you get my mental telepathy messages? Quirky and intriguing.
  6. I would say “at last!” but I don’t wanna seem too eager… Play it cool.
  7. My phone felt so empty without you. Then send a kiss emoji. 😘
  8. Were you waiting by the phone all week too? Really play it cool.
  9. You know I’d wait forever for you though, right? Seal with the feels.
  10. I couldn’t stop thinking about you tbh. Heart eyes emoji for extra romance. 😍

Please hold while I take a cold shower! 🚿💦

Okay now, let’s spotlight…

10 Editor’s Choice Responses

Out of all the sassy comebacks, here are my fave go-to replies for late girl texters:

1. New Phone, Who Dis?

Pretending not to know who she is = ultimate power move.

When To Use:

  • Very close friends
  • Crushes

When To Avoid:

  • Elders
  • Bosses

2. Where Have You Been Hiding Gorgeous?

Ultra flirty inquiry letting her know she still has your attention.

When To Use:

  • Romantic interests
  • Potential partners

When To Avoid:

  • Family members
  • Coworkers

3. I Missed You Like a Fat Kid Misses Cake

Sweet culinary metaphor demonstrating your longing.

When To Use:

  • Best friends
  • Friendly crushes

When To Avoid:

  • Strict teachers
  • Your grandma

4. Sends Virtual Carrier Pigeon To Retrieve Text

Quirky way to call out her ancient communication tech.

When To Use:

  • Close buddies
  • Buddies you wanna get closer with

When To Avoid:

  • Managers at your job
  • The queen of England

5. Look Who Decided To Show Up!

Sarcastic remark marveling at her sudden return.

When To Use:

  • Good friends
  • Flirty friends

When To Avoid:

6. So What’s This… You Reach Out Every Leap Year?

Snarky quip about her texting habits. Or lack thereof. 😼

When To Use:

  • Besties
  • Your crush

When To Avoid:

  • Strict parents
  • Michelle Obama

7. At Last, She Speaks!

Be your own Indiana Jones discovering a long lost artifact.

When To Use:

  • Close comrades
  • Romantic interests

When To Avoid:

  • Elders in your community
  • Her majesty the Queen

8. Let Me Go Dig Up This Fossil of a Chat

Witty line comparing your dead convo to ancient history.

When To Use:

  • Good friends who can take a joke
  • Potential boyfriends/girlfriends

When To Avoid:

  • Grandparents and older family members
  • VIPs, dignitaries

9. Did You Fall Into the Sarlacc Pit or What?

Nerd out with this deep-cut Star Wars diss. 🤓

When To Use:

  • Fellow sci-fi geeks
  • Cute girls you share niche interests with

When To Avoid:

  • Non-nerdy types
  • Work bosses

10. I Was About to Send Out a Search Party!

Playful remark that shows you care.

When To Use:

  • Close buddies
  • Love interests

When To Avoid:

  • Teachers
  • Celebrities

How to Reply to Girls

Wondering how to craft responses for special lady friends? Here are my top texting tips:

Keep it Lighthearted

Don’t go overboard accusing her of ignoring you. Keep the tone funny and casual using cheeky comebacks like:

  • New phone who dis?
  • Look who decided to show up!
  • Where have you been hiding gorgeous?

Ask Questions

Turn the tables by asking about her radio silence:

  • Everything ok over there?
  • Did you go off the grid or what?
  • Was your phone broken?

Show concern but avoid interrogation.

State You Noticed

Politely point out the delay before continuing conversation:

  • I was starting to think you forgot about me!
  • I haven’t heard from you in a minute.
  • I was wondering where you wandered off to!

Then reroute discussion to positive subjects.

How to Reply to Guys

Gents can also be guilty of marathon text response times. Here’s how to get back at boy ghosts:

Tease Them

Use playful taunts to hint he was ignoring you:

  • Who are you again? Contacts deleted. 😝
  • I know it’s been 84 years but…
  • Did you fall off the face of the earth?

Without being mean-spirited.

Ask Straight Up

Get answers around his absence candidly but casually:

  • Everything good with you?
  • Been busy or just ghosting me? 👻
  • Phone problems?

Don’t sound accusatory, keep friendly.

Flirt Back

If he initiates flirty banter reply in kind:

  • Were you waiting by the phone as much as me? 😏
  • I couldn’t stop thinking about you tbh.
  • I would say “finally!” but don’t wanna seem too eager…

Give him a taste of his own medicine!


Dealing with delayed text responses is frustrating but often unavoidable. Best policy is showing you care while standing your ground with savage shut downs or outrageously flirty replies!

Choose responses suiting your relationship and conversational mood. But most importantly, try not to stress over a late text! Remind yourself she probably has 100 legitimate reasons that kept her busy.

At the end of the day, quality conversations matter far more than rapid fire text exchanges. Though, a properly funny or sassy reply never hurts! 😉

So next time you face the read bubble abyss have an arsenal of witty comebacks ready for any old chats rising from the dead.

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