Funny Responses When Someone Asks “What Do You Want from Me?”

We’ve all been there. Someone asks you a confrontational question like “What do you want from me?” and you freeze up, unsure how to respond. Staying silent or getting defensive usually doesn’t help matters.

A touch of humor, however, can diffuse tension and get the conversation back on track. This article explores funny, disarming responses you can use when faced with “What do you want from me?”.

We’ll cover snappy comebacks, meme references, silly deflections, and more. ARM yourself with these witty retorts so you can handle challenging questions with good humor!

What’s the Best Funny Response to “What Do You Want from Me?”

A Large Pepperoni Pizza Would Be Nice

Suggest they buy you pizza! No one stays angry over extra cheesy goodness. You could respond:

“A large pepperoni pizza would be nice.”

“I’ll take one meat lovers, extra sauce please!”

“How about we grab a couple pies and hash this out over slices?”

This turns the confrontation into an invitation to break bread (or dough) together. Lighthearted and unexpected, it gives you both a chance to calm down.

Best Funny Comeback Responses

“A Winning Lottery Ticket”

Shoot for the moon, right? This wacky response implies their question was outlandish. You take it to an exaggerated level with hopes of shocking them into laughter. Follow up with:

“No really, an apology would be fine.”

“I’d settle for us talking calmly.”

“How about we start with a clean slate?”

Gently steer the conversation somewhere more positive once you’ve broken the tension.

“A Pony”

Channeling your inner kid, ask for something silly and improbable. Say this in a playful, smiling tone. Add some levity by listing other far-fetched wishes:

“A trip to the moon?”

“Ooh, magical fairy powers!”

“World peace would be nice. Think you could swing that?”

By making light of their confrontational question, you deflate the situation and create some breathing room.

“A Million Dollars”

Go ahead, get greedy! It’s so over-the-top, they can’t take offense. Plus who knows…they might feel like making your dreams come true! Up the ante with:

“A mansion in Tahiti works too.”

“I’ve always fancied a yacht…”

“Hey, you asked what I want!”

Pretending to take them literally often makes people realize how aggressive their question was. It pokes fun at the absurdity of it all.

“An Apology”

Flip the script! Their question implies you did something wrong or have an agenda. Hit back with:

“I think the real question is what do YOU want from ME?”

“Maybe we’re miscommunicating here…”

“How about we rewind and start over?”

Don’t escalate things further. The goal is opening a dialogue, not pointing fingers. Use gentle humor to get them to see your perspective.

“A Hug”

Have you tried killing them with kindness? Saying you want physical affection throws people for a loop. And it’s hard to stay pissed off at someone who just wants a hug! Up the sweetness factor with:

“To watch 27 Dresses and cuddle.”

“Can we get milkshakes and talk this out?”

“How about we take a breather and regroup in 10 minutes?”

No one expects warm fuzzies after a confrontational question. It creates cognitive dissonance that snaps them out of attack mode.

“For You to Smile”

Here’s another disarming trip down sweet street! Go even further by wishing something positive for THEM. Gently lead in to a problem-solving discussion by adding:

“It makes me sad when you’re upset. I want us both to be happy!”

“This tension isn’t helping anyone. Can we talk calmer?”

“I don’t like fighting. Let’s figure out how to fix this, together.”

Kill ‘em with kindness on expert mode! Who can keep shouting when all you want is to see them smile again?

“Mind Reading Powers”

Sometimes the best response is pointing out the absurdity. They’re demanding you know their mind. Hit ‘em back with:

“Oh shoot, did I forget to take my telepathy pills this morning?”

“Dang crystal ball’s on the fritz again…”

“Trust me, if I was psychic we wouldn’t be having this conversation!”

Gently suggest that perhaps THEY need to communicate better, instead of blaming you for failing to read their mind.

“For You to Use Your Words”

Similarly, call out the fact that they made a loaded statement, not an actual request. Say:

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you to tell me!”

“Well right now I want for us to have a calm discussion using our words.”

“It sounds like you’re feeling upset and want clarification from me. I’m happy to chat more if we can both stay respectful.”

Diplomatically point out the difference between aggressive accusations and good faith questions. Model the civil tone you expect from them.

“A Ladder”

Here’s one from left field! The sheer randomness can jolt people out of heated emotions. Plus you can double down on the weirdness:

“So I can get that can of spaghetti sauce on the top shelf…”

“To help the giraffes escape from the zoo…”

“I’m just so darn short, you know?”

Ideally they’ll be curious enough about this ladder business to ask more questions…starting fresh conversation!

How to Reply to Girls

When a girl confronts you aggressively, funny responses can help introduce some perspective. Light doses of humor bring levity to heavy situations. It gives you both a chance to climb down from the walls and find calmer ground.

Some tips for replying to girls:

Deflect Seriously

Don’t joke about sensitive subjects. If she seems genuinely upset by something you did, making light could worsen the hurt. Say “I can see you’re upset, I’m taking this seriously and want us to talk through it respectfully.”

Use Self-Deprecating Humor

Take yourself down a notch instead of mocking or belittling HER. Say something like “Dang I can be oblivious sometimes huh?” or “Note to self, pantomime skills need work!” Poke fun at your own mistakes, not her reactions.

Find Common Ground

Frame things as you and her dealing with an issue together, instead of combating each other. Say “This miscommunication thing sucks…how about we tackle it as a team?” or “We’re getting off track here – let’s circle back to figuring this out.”

Know When To Stop

If she stays upset or isn’t responding well to light humor, apologize and switch gears. Say something sincere like “I’m sorry I made that joke when you’re upset, I crossed a line there. Do you want to talk more seriously about why I upset you?”

How to Reply to Guys

When confronting guys, funny responses can also help ease brewing temper flare-ups. Laughter relieves tension, allowing guys to save face. Here are some tips:

Don’t Challenge His Pride

Frontal challenges can bruise egos, making guys defensive. Defuse gently with jokes. Say “You seem pretty worried about my secret plans for world domination. Think I can fit scheming into my packed schedule this week?”

Let Him Be The Hero

Guy sometimes want to fix things and save the day. Let him! Say “This is getting confusing…think your wise insight could help us sort through it?” Make him the advisor who guides things back on track.

Crack Jokes At Your Own Expense

Just like with girls, use self-deprecating humor to take yourself down a peg. Say things like “Guess my sarcasm didn’t land there…I gotta workshop new material” or “Blame my poor delivery on one too many knocks to the head!”

Appeal To Common Interests

Redirect his feelings to something you both enjoy. Say “How about we table this for now and go shoot some hoops instead?” or “Up for a video game marathon to clear our heads?” Breathing room helps.

Key Takeaways

  1. Deflect accusations with lighthearted humor – Don’t take the bait when someone gets confrontational. Defuse tension with funny responses that catch them off guard.
  2. Turn tables positively – If you feel accused unfairly, flip the script. Respond in ways that invite open, constructive dialogue instead of retaliation.
  3. Disarm and redirect – Once you’ve eased immediate tensions with humor, bring things back to neutral ground. Find common interests, appeal to their best motives, and guide discussion someplace solution-oriented.

Smooth Conversations Ahead!

Few things feel worse than being bombarded with confrontational questions. Our fight-or-flight instincts kick in, rationale goes out the window, and communication breakdown ensues. What a mess!

The next time someone snaps “What do YOU want from ME?” resist urge to snap back. Take a breath, get creative, and respond with some lighthearted humor instead. Share an improbable wish list, plead for mind reading lessons, or pretend to take them oh-so-literally.

Deploying gentling joking, self-deprecating wit, and disarming non-sequiturs does wonders for defusing tension fast. Once you’ve both cooled down, redirect the conversation somewhere constructive. Address underlying grievances, find common ground, and tackle the issue as a team.

With these funny response strategies in your back pocket, you can handle even the most challenging questions with finesse. So next time tempers flare up, don’t return fire. Draw on your arsenal of witty replies instead! The tension will dissolve faster than you can say “pepperoni pizza, please.”

I am a Certified Life Coach (CPC) and mom of two from Austin, TX. I draw on my psychology background and coaching experience to empower others to grow through my writing.

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