Funny Responses to “Have You Lost Weight?”

Hey friends! Have you ever been asked, “Have you lost weight?” and not known how to respond? This common question can catch us off guard, making it hard to come up with a witty or lighthearted comeback on the spot.

Well, you’re in luck because today I’m sharing my favorite funny responses to give when someone makes a comment about your weight loss (or lack thereof). Whether you want to gently let them know their question is inappropriate or make them laugh, I’ve got you covered. Keep reading for examples!

What’s the Best Response to “Have You Lost Weight?”

Giving a simple “yes” or “no” can come across as rude or awkward. Instead, I recommend responding with “Thanks for noticing – I switched my diet to air and sunlight!” a humorous quip that lets the person know their question may have been unintentionally insensitive while keeping things light.

Here are a few of my favorite funny comebacks:

  • “I wish! My clothes still feel as tight as ever.”
  • “Actually I think I gained my fair share of the Quarantine 15!”

Comebacks like these gently call out the question without making the asker feel embarrassed. They bring humor to a sensitive subject that we all face societal pressures around.

Best Funny Responses

1. Nope, Still Gloriously Plump!

Proudly owning your curvy body type often gets a laugh while still being body positive. For example, try responding with, “Nope, still gloriously plump!” or “I’m as fluffy as ever!” Both let the person know their question misses the mark, but in a cheerful way.

Other similar responses:

  • “I’m as cuddly as always!”
  • “Same magnificent meat suit as before!”
  • “I’m just as fabulously round, thanks for asking!”

2. Is That Your Subtle Way of Calling Me Fat?

This retort playfully points out the insensitive nature of weight loss questions. But it gives the person an “out” by framing it as subtle rather than overtly calling them out. For example, “Is that your subtle way of calling me fat?” shows you understand they likely didn’t intend harm.

Other similar responses:

  • “What a polite way to say I used to be less fat!”
  • “Did you just inadvertently call me chunky?”
  • “I see what you did there!”

3. I Actually Gained Weight – Wanna Guess How Much?

Flipping the awkward question around on them often gets funny reactions. Try saying, “I actually gained weight recently – wanna guess how much?” Their deer-in-headlights reaction shows why these questions are rude in the first place.

Other similar responses:

  • “Funny you ask, I think I’ve gained a few!”
  • “I wish I knew – I avoid scales at all costs!”
  • “I’m succeeding at my goal to cultivate mass, thanks for noticing!”

4. Thanks, I Have Been Hitting the Donuts Hard Lately

Leaning into unhealthy eating stereotypes lets them know their comment missed the mark, but in a tongue-in-cheek way. Respond with something like, “Thanks, I have been hitting the donuts hard lately!” or “Oh good, my plan to gain weight is working!”

Other similar responses:

  • “The cupcakes have definitely paid off, thanks!”
  • “Yep, I’m on the see food diet – I see food and I eat it!”
  • “Oh no, did my secret Oreo addiction give me away?”

5. Well, This Conversation Took an Awkward Turn!

Pointing out the awkwardness prompts an apology without directly asking for one. Try saying, “Well, this conversation took an awkward turn!” or “Wow, way to keep it awkward, Karen!” This response lets them recognize their gaffe.

Other similar responses:

  • “I’m sensing some unintentional rudeness here.”
  • “Did we really just go there?”
  • “Aaand now things are uncomfortable. Great!”

6. If I Did, Are You Offering to Be My Personal Trainer?

Flipping an awkward question into a playful invitation makes light of their presumptuousness. Respond with, “If I did, are you offering to be my personal trainer?” or “Oh good catch! Does this mean you’re volunteering to be my workout buddy?”

Other similar responses:

  • “I haven’t, but if you’re offering workout tips I’m all ears!”
  • “Aw thanks – wanna be my hype woman at the gym?”
  • “I could use some fitness motivation if you’re down!”

7. Let Me Check If My Pants Are Falling Down

This sarcastic quip exaggerates the rudeness of their question. Try responding with, “Let me check if my pants are falling down” or “Hmm better pull up my sagging jeans.” It mocks their nosiness in a silly way.

Other similar responses:

  • “Give me a sec to inspect if my belt is too loose.”
  • “I don’t notice a difference but please, assess my body.”
  • “Do I need to stand still so you can look me up and down?”

8. Well Now I Feel Self-Conscious, So Thanks for That!

Sometimes it’s most effective to be straightforward about how the question makes you feel. Respond honestly with something like, “Well now I feel self-conscious, so thanks for that!” This response prevents future gaffes.

Other similar responses:

  • “Gee, should I be worried about my weight?”
  • “Wow, way to trigger some insecurities!”
  • “Is this your way of saying I should lose weight?”

9. Talk About An Awkward Compliment!

Sarcastically calling it a “compliment” shows that it’s anything but. Try retorting with something like, “Talk about an awkward compliment!” or “Wow, what a backhanded compliment!” This calls out their unintended rudeness.

Other similar responses:

  • “That wasn’t as flattering as you thought, FYI.”
  • That’s one really uncomfortable compliment.”
  • “Yikes, nice inadvertent neg!”

10. Last I Checked I’m at Peak Physical Perfection, But Thanks!

A silly, over-the-top response mocks their nosiness playfully. Respond with, “Last I checked I’m at peak physical perfection, but thanks for your concern!” or “According to my BMI I’m at ideal body weight, but I appreciate your interest!”

Other similar responses:

  • “Well I earned this gorgeous bod through dairy and carbs, but thanks!”
  • “I’ll have you know I meet all the physical requirements to be a unicorn, thank you very much!”
  • “Nope, still rocking model stats over here, but I appreciate your concern!”

How to Respond to a Girl Asking If You’ve Lost Weight

Women face immense societal pressure around their bodies and weight. So when a girl asks if you’ve lost weight, she likely has the best intentions even if it comes out wrong.

With that in mind, I suggest gentle, good-natured responses that get your point across without embarrassing her. For example:

  • “I know you didn’t mean any harm, but comments about others’ weight make me uncomfortable.” This politely establishes a boundary.
  • “I try my best not to comment on others’ bodies since we all deserve to feel confident.” This response models the behavior you prefer without accusing her.
  • “I haven’t, but I’ve been trying to focus less on the number on the scale and more on feeling healthy.” This answer avoids shaming her question.

No matter her intention, remarks about others’ weight promote harmful body messaging. But by responding positively, you can change perspectives while making your boundaries clear.

How to Respond to a Guy Asking If You’ve Lost Weight

Since guys don’t face the same beauty expectations, a man asking about your weight likely comes from a place of innocent ignorance rather than malice.

So I suggest lighthearted comebacks that gently poke fun without putting him down, such as:

  • “Nah, but I may have gained muscle from helping your mom move last week!” Good-naturedly teasing them back avoids awkwardness.
  • “Ha! I wish – donuts are still my arch nemesis!” Leaning into self-deprecating humor takes the edge off the insensitive question.
  • “If I did, I owe it all to stress eating in quarantine!” Sarcastically crediting emotional

Key Takeaways

1. Deflect with Humor

Using funny comebacks or self-deprecating jokes keeps things light while letting the asker know their question was inappropriate. Gentle humor often works better than outrage or accusations.

2. Flip the Question Around

Questions like “have you lost weight?” reveal the asker’s own hangups about appearance and body image. Turning the question back on them calls out this unhealthy fixation in a harmless way.

3. Own Your Fabulous Body

Comebacks that proudly embrace your body type help dismantle societal beauty constructs. We all deserve to feel gorgeous and confident just as we are.

In Conclusion…

Getting asked “have you lost weight?” can be annoying or awkward. But now you’re equipped with plenty of hilarious, clever responses to diffuse tension while subtly educating others.

Rather than embarrassing the asker for their presumption, witty comebacks allow you to model the self-love and body positivity you want to see from others. So next time someone comments on your weight, try out a funny phrase from this article! Questions about appearance promote unhealthy fixation, but we can gently shift perspectives through humor and confidence.

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