EPIC Responses to ‘Cheers, Big Ears’: 30+ Witty & Savage Lines to Say

When someone says “Cheers, big ears” to you, don’t let it get to you. Here are some of the best responses to brush it off or even make a comeback of your own.

I decided to put this guide together after an old “friend” made a snarky “Cheers, big ears” comment to me recently. It brought back some bad memories of getting teased as a kid.

But now I realize the best thing to do is either ignore ignorant comments or better yet, have some great comebacks ready. If you want some ideas, check out my list below of 30 clever responses for when someone tries to put you down.

30 Savage Responses to “Cheers, Big Ears”

Don’t let them see you sweat! Here are 30 ways to shake off or shut down the “Cheers, big ears” mockery.

“Thanks for noticing!” Lean into it with confidence.

“Yep, all the better to hear your BS with.” Call them out.

“At least I don’t have a big mouth.” Flip the script.

“I’ll drink to that.” Kill them with kindness.

“Sorry, I don’t speak idiot.” Plead ignorance.

“Wish I could say the same about you.” Polite insult.

“Just keeping my eye on you.” Put them on notice.

“You must be jealous.” Make them insecure.

“At least I can get my hair cut for free.” Self-deprecating humor can deflate the bully.

“Were you talking to me?” Feign confusion.

“I forgive you.” Take the high road.

“When you’re done being rude…” Shame them.

“Now that’s just childish.” Act mature.

“You seem bothered.” Insinuate insecurity on their part.

“Cheers to that!” Agree in an unexpected way.

“You come up with that yourself?” Question their intelligence.

“I have feelings too, you know.” Guilt trip.

“Do you treat all your friends this way?” Force them to backtrack.

“At least I don’t make fun of people’s appearances.” Spotlight their bad behavior.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Flattery to confuse them.

“Sorry, I was distracted by your giant zit.” Give them a taste of their own medicine.

“Thanks, I grew them myself!” Lean into the absurdity.

“Wow, never heard that one before.” Sarcasm highlights their lack of originality.

“Nice try. Got anything better?” * Put the pressure on.*

“Did you want something?” Act like you’re above it.

“Hmm, obsessed much?” Make them feel self-conscious about targeting you.

“At least my face isn’t busted.” Stoop to their level if needed.

“I’m rubber, you’re glue…” Juvenile but surprisingly effective.

“Cool story.” Brush it off breezily.

“Bless your heart.” Kill them with kindness.

More Funny Responses

Got laughed at for your prominent ears? Laugh it off with these funny comebacks.

Anyone making fun of how you look is likely feeling insecure themselves. So try to have some compassion. But also stand up for yourself if needed!

Here are more funny, disarming responses to shut down the haters.

10 Amusing Comebacks for “Cheers, Big Ears”

  • “Thanks! They help me hear compliments better too.”
  • “At least my face isn’t busted like yours.”
  • “I’m just aerodynamic.”
  • “All the better to hear your BS with, my dear.”
  • “Clearly you’ve never seen an elephant up close.”
  • “Good thing I don’t care what you think.”
  • “Aww, I have fans now!”
  • “Ears to you too, buddy!”
  • “Are you this rude to everyone or am I just special?”
  • “Cool story. Got any other fun facts to share about me?”

More Sarcastic Responses

Dish some sarcasm right back at the “Cheers, big ears” bullies.

  • “Thanks captain obvious.”
  • “Nothing gets past you, huh?”
  • “Really earning that nickname ‘Sherlock’ I see.”
  • “You must feel awesome making fun of people’s bodies.”
  • “Do you want a medal or something?”
  • “Glad you think so. I was worried.” Eye roll
  • “Please, tell me more about myself.”
  • “Looks like someone’s jealous they don’t have built-in headphones.”
  • “At least my face isn’t gross to look at.”
  • “Wish I could say the same about you…”

Self-Deprecating Humor

If you can laugh at yourself, it makes the bully powerless. Give self-deprecating humor a try.

  • “Yep, still rocking these satellite dishes.”
  • “What can I say, I’m all ears!”
  • “At least I get good WiFi.”
  • “Good thing I planned to be a cab driver.”
  • “I never lose at Marco Polo.”
  • “I asked for the Prince Charles special at the hair salon.”
  • “It helps me eavesdrop better.”
  • “All the better to hear compliments with!”
  • “My parents clearly had big hopes for my listening abilities.”
  • “At least I get free head massages on windy days.”

10 Best Comebacks – Editor’s Choice

Out of all the clever responses, these are my top 10 favorites for shutting down the haters.

1. “Thanks for noticing!”

This confident reply catches them off guard. Own what they’re making fun of with pride.

2. “Sorry, I don’t speak idiot.”

Calling out their rude behavior directly lets them know you won’t stand for it.

3. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Kill them with kindness and confuse them by receiving it positively.

4. “You seem bothered.”

Put the focus back on their issues, not yours.

5. “At least I don’t make fun of people’s appearances.”

Highlight how they’re the ones crossing the line.

6. “I have feelings too, you know.”

Right in the guilt trip!

7. “Wow, never heard that one before.”

Sarcastic reply to point out their lack of creativity.

8. “Bless your heart.”

Southern shade at its finest. políte but packs a punch.

9. “Good thing I don’t care what you think.”

Make it clear their opinion means nothing.

10. “I’m just aerodynamic.”

Humorous response to roll with the punches.

When and When Not to Use These Comebacks

Type of ComebackWhen to UseWhen NOT to Use
SarcasticWhen you know the person well enough to rib each otherEarly on in a new friendship or with superiors
Self-Deprecating HumorAround friends with the same style of humorIn professional settings or with superiors
Direct InsultsWith close friends if you have this kind of banterAt work events, around parents/family
Kill Them With KindnessWhen others are watching who might take your sideOne-on-one confrontation when it could be viewed as weak
Call Out Their BehaviorWhen you want to take a firm stand and demand respectIn dangerous situations when it could escalate

How to Reply to Guys vs Girls

Should your comeback change depending on who’s dishing out the “Cheers, big ears” teasing? Here’s my take…

Replying to Guys

Guys razzing you may think they’re just being funny. But don’t feel pressured to laugh it off if it really bothers you.

Some good responses to guys are:

  • “At least I can get my hair cut for free…” Make a self-deprecating joke to ease the tension.
  • “Small things amuse small minds, I guess.” Hint they’re immature.
  • “Sorry, I don’t speak rude.” Firmly establish you won’t tolerate it.

If it’s a guy you like, consider a flirty comeback to let him know you’re interested:

  • “If you keep looking at me like that I’m gonna blush!”
  • “Buy me a drink first and then we’ll see if I can handle those jokes.”
  • “Don’t be jealous just ’cause I make these ears look good!”

But don’t feel pressured to laugh off truly hurtful teasing just because you like the guy. Prioritize self-respect first!

Replying to Girls

Girls can definitely be mean too. But snarky comebacks between females sometimes hits different.

With girl friends I’d go for light sarcasm or playfulness:

  • “Aww, I have a fan club now!”
  • “Clearly someone’s obsessed with my ears…”
  • “Ears to you too!” Make a cute pun.

With frenemies or “mean girls” get a bit more direct:

  • “I’ll take that as a compliment, thanks!” Kill them with confidence.
  • “Are you this rude to everyone or am I just special?” Call out their targeting you.
  • “Sorry, I don’t speak catty.” Firmly establish you won’t tolerate meanness from other girls.

And if it’s a girl you actually dislike, consider an subtle insult:

  • “At least I can get my hair cut for free…”
  • “I’d rather have big ears than a big mouth.”
  • “I forgive you.” Take the high road to highlight their bitterness.

More Comeback Ideas

Not sure “Cheers, big ears” fully captures the shapes and sizes of your ears? Here are more personalized comebacks.

For Really Big Ears

If you have notably large ears like Prince Charles or Ross from Friends, lean into the similarity with humor:

  • “I asked for the Prince Charles special at the hair salon, just FYI.”
  • “What can I say, I’m auditioning to be Ross on Friends.”
  • “Good thing my career goals involve cargo planes.”
  • “Laugh now, but the wind power from these things will keep my electricity bill low.”

Own your prominent ears! Confidence is the best comeback.

For Dumbo Ears

Do your ears stick out like Dumbo’s? Embrace everyone’s favorite animated elephant with these responses:

  • “Clearly you’ve never seen real elephant ears up close before.”
  • “I never lose at Marco Polo, so there’s that.”
  • “What these lack in style they make up for in airflow!”
  • “At least I get good WiFi.”
  • “All the better to hear compliments with!”

If You Have a Really High Forehead Too

If your big ears and tall forehead have earned you the nickname “Megamind,” fight fire with fire!

  • “You know what they say about guys with big foreheads…big ideas!”
  • “My melon gives me extra brain power, so thanks!”
  • “I asked for the Megamind special at Supercuts.”
  • “It’s called thinking BIG.”
  • “All the better stage for my brow game!”

How to Actually Reply

When someone drops a “Cheers, big ears” on you, it can catch you off guard. Here are tips for responding smoothly in the moment.

First, take a breath. An insult says way more about the other person than you. Collect yourself so you don’t get visibly upset.

If you have a snappy, witty comeback ready, now’s the time. It helps deflate the bully when you don’t get bothered.

But it’s also ok to politely stand up for yourself if needed:

  • “I don’t appreciate comments about my appearance.”
  • “That was uncalled for.”
  • “Please don’t make fun of my body.”

If it’s a friend you can simply say, “Ouch, that’s kind of mean” to clue them in.

Or avoid further confrontation entirely with a breezy subject change like “Anywayyy…how’s your family?”

The most important thing is you staying confident in who you are. Don’t let small-minded fools make you feel small. No matter what, hold your head high!


While big ears can be embarrassing when you’re young, the best thing you can do is learn to celebrate what makes you unique.

If people try putting you down with “Cheers, big ears” comments, remember it says more about their issues than yours. Respond with empathy, wit, confidence, or dismissal. But don’t let it get to you.

Your unusual ears might even become an asset one day! Whether they give you great hearing, a memorable look, or just another reason to stand out from the crowd take pride in them.

I hope this guide gave you plenty of comeback inspiration for the next time someone tries mocking your prominent ears. Let me know what other creative responses or experiences you have!

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