Best Responses to ‘The Things I’d Do to You’

Mrs And The Misc may earn commission from the links on this page, but we only ever share brands that we love and trust.

Sarah Koch


Ah, the classic, eyebrow-raising comment: “The things I’d do to you.” Seriously, what are we in, a cheesy 80s movie? But here it is, alive and well in modern conversation, slinging innuendo with the subtlety of a runaway train.

Whether it catches you off guard or just makes you cringe into another dimension, it’s one heck of a conversation stopper… or starter, depending on the vibe. So, what do you do when someone tosses this verbal grenade your way? Buckle up, friends—we’re diving deep into the art of the witty comeback, the sharp rebuke, and the play-it-cool responses.

When Sarcasm is Your Best Friend

“Oh, really? Tell me more about your subscription to Bad Pickup Lines Monthly.”

Sarcasm, that beautiful, double-edged sword. It’s perfect for defusing tension and showing that you’re not easily rattled by over-the-top comments.

  • “Do I look like a menu to you?”
  • “Oh wow, another original comment!”
  • “You’ve been watching too much TV, haven’t you?”
  • “Did you really just say that? In 2023?”
  • “Sweetie, dreams are all you get.”
  • “Wow, your imagination must be wild.”
  • “I’m sorry, but I prefer reality.”
  • “Should I be flattered, or should I laugh?”
  • “Bold of you to assume.”
  • “Yes, and the earth is flat.”

If sarcasm is your style, these replies will keep the mood light while making it clear that you’re not falling for any nonsense.

When You Want to Lay Down the Law

“Let’s keep it respectful, ok?”

Sometimes, you just need to cut straight to the chase. Setting boundaries isn’t just smart; it’s necessary.

  • “That’s not appropriate.”
  • “Do you really think that’s okay to say?”
  • “Show some respect.”
  • “I’m not comfortable with that.”
  • “Please, don’t say such things.”
  • “Respect goes both ways.”
  • “Let’s keep it professional.”
  • “That’s crossing a line.”
  • “Keep your comments PG.”
  • “Boundaries, my friend. Boundaries.”

These replies maintain your dignity and ensure the other person knows exactly where you stand.

When Humor is Your Shield

“Wow, you must be a comedian in your spare time.”

Humor is an excellent tool for softening the blow while still putting the comment in its place.

  • “Is it stand-up night already?”
  • “That’s the best you’ve got?”
  • “Cue the laugh track!”
  • “Try again, buddy.”
  • “You missed your calling as a clown.”
  • “Was that supposed to impress me?”
  • “Hilarious! What’s next, a magic trick?”
  • “I’ve heard better.”
  • “Stick to your day job.”
  • “Is this a comedy show?”

These comebacks let you deflect awkwardness with a chuckle, keeping things light and breezy.

When You’re Playing Along

“Really? I’m intrigued. Do tell.”

Sometimes, it’s fun to play along without fully committing. It’s a tactic that can be especially potent if you have a particular knack for witty banter.

  • “And what would that entail, exactly?”
  • “You’ve got my attention.”
  • “I’m all ears.”
  • “Go on, enlighten me.”
  • Sounds interesting.”
  • “I’d love to hear more.”
  • “What’s your plan?”
  • “You’ve piqued my curiosity.”
  • “Well, now I’m curious.”
  • “What makes you think you could handle me?”

These replies keep the momentum going while preserving your control over the conversation.

When You’re Feeling Flirty

“Oh, do tell!”

Hey, maybe you’re into it. Maybe it’s part of a fun, flirty dynamic and you’re ready to see where this ride goes.

  • “I’d love to hear more.”
  • “That sounds promising.”
  • “Tell me more.”
  • “I didn’t know you had it in you.”
  • “I like your confidence.”
  • “Challenge accepted.”
  • “I’m intrigued.”
  • “Keep talking.”
  • “And what else would you do?”
  • “I’m waiting…”

A little flirtation never hurt anyone, as long as both sides are on the same page.

When You Want to Pivot the Conversation

“Anyway, how about that local sports team?”

Not every comment requires engagement. Sometimes, the best strategy is to steer the conversation clear of rocky terrain.

  • “Interesting… so, about that project?”
  • “Let’s change the subject.”
  • “Back to what we were saying…”
  • “And on that note…”
  • “Anyway, moving on…”
  • “Let’s talk about something else.”
  • “Now, where were we?”
  • “Getting back to the topic…”
  • “On a different note…”
  • “Great! So, how’s your mom?”

These responses skillfully redirect the conversation, keeping things smooth and pleasant.

When You’re Clearly Unimpressed

“You can do better than that.”

Sometimes, the best response is showing just how unimpressed you are to communicate that the comment didn’t land.

  • “That’s it?”
  • “Not impressed.”
  • “You can try harder.”
  • “Really? That’s the best?”
  • “I expected more.”
  • “Underwhelming.”
  • “Not buying it.”
  • “Nice try.”
  • “Could be better.”
  • “Next!”

These responses communicate that they’ll really have to step up their game to catch your interest.

When You Want to Get Philosophical

“And what does that mean in the grand scheme of things?”

Maybe you’re in the mood to get existential and make the whole situation a learning moment.

  • “What do you think that says about human nature?”
  • “Interesting, how does that reflect your worldview?”
  • “Let’s delve deeper into that thought.”
  • “How do you see that playing out in a universal context?”
  • “What philosophical stance informs that idea?”
  • “Expand on that thought.”
  • “Is that your perception of reality?”
  • “Where does that belief come from?”
  • “Let’s analyze that.”
  • “Now we’re getting into some deep stuff.”

Pivoting to a more thoughtful place can turn an awkward moment into an enlightening conversation.

When You Want to Ignore It Altogether

“Did you see the latest episode of [Popular Show]?”

And sometimes, the best response is no response at all. Why give it attention when you can just… not?

  • “Oh, have you heard about [Current Event]?”
  • “So, what are your weekend plans?”
  • “Speaking of which, what do you think about [New Topic]?”
  • “Did you see the news today?”
  • “What’s your favorite movie?”
  • “Have you been to any good restaurants lately?”
  • “Got any book recommendations?”
  • “Anyway, what’s new with you?”
  • “So, about that thing we were discussing…”
  • “How do you feel about [Random Subject]?”

Dodging the comment completely allows you to carry on without a hitch.

How to Reply to a Girl

When replying to a girl, consider the context of your relationship. If you’re just friends, you might lean towards humorous or sarcastic responses. If there’s a romantic interest, flirty responses can keep the conversation engaging. Always aim to be respectful and mindful of her comfort.

  • “Oh wow, bold statement!”
  • “Flattered, but let’s keep it friendly.”
  • “And why’s that?”
  • “That’s quite the proposition!”
  • “I’d love to hear more… maybe.”
  • “Charming! Tell me more.”
  • “Oh really? Keep talking.”
  • “That’s sweet, I guess?”
  • “You never cease to surprise me.”
  • “Goodness, where do you get these ideas?”

Your replies should always depend on her response and the vibe of your conversation.

How to Reply to a Guy

Whether the comment comes from a friend, potential partner, or a stranger, how you reply to a guy can vary. The key is to navigate the exchange in a way that feels comfortable for you.

  • “Impressive imagination.”
  • “And how does that usually work out for you?”
  • “Is that so? Tell me more.”
  • “Goodness, someone’s confident!”
  • “What makes you say that?”
  • “Do go on!”
  • “Are you always this forthcoming?”
  • “Now you’ve got my attention.”
  • “Careful, words like that could get you in trouble.”
  • “Nice try, but I’m not easily swayed.”

Balancing humor and assertiveness ensures you maintain control while keeping it light-hearted.

When to Use Gentle Responses

In some situations, a gentle response is the way to go. Maybe it’s a close friend who’s testing the waters or someone who’s well-intentioned but awkwardly expressed.

Responses can help ease the discomfort while maintaining good rapport.

  • “Flattered, but let’s keep it respectful.”
  • “I see where you’re coming from, but let’s slow down.”
  • “I don’t think we’re there yet.”
  • “Nice try, but not quite.”
  • “I appreciate the compliment, but…”
  • “You’re sweet, but watch the boundaries.”
  • “Thanks, but let’s keep things professional.”
  • “Not sure that’s the best way to express yourself.”
  • “Let’s keep this friendly.”
  • “Careful, you’re treading on thin ice.”

Sarcastic But Friendly Responses

Sarcasm, when used skillfully, can maintain a friendly tone while signaling that the comment wasn’t exactly appreciated.

  • “Wow, did you rehearse that?”
  • “Color me impressed.”
  • “Is that your best line?”
  • “Really reaching for the stars, huh?”
  • “Oh, you charmer.”
  • “Not sure if I should laugh or be scared.”
  • “That’s original… not.”
  • “And how many times has that line worked?”
  • “Bravo, almost there.”
  • “Try again, you might surprise me.”

When You’re Just Not Interested

Sometimes, you’re simply not interested, and that’s perfectly okay. Here’s how to communicate that without causing too much drama.

  • “Not really my thing.”
  • “I’m going to pass.”
  • “Let’s change the topic.”
  • “Yeah, I’m not feeling it.”
  • “Not interested.”
  • “Nah, I’m good.”
  • “I’ll have to decline.”
  • “Move along.”
  • “That’s a no from me.”
  • “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Responses show disinterest without creating unnecessary conflict.

The Tease and Dodge

The “Tease and Dodge” keeps things playful while dodging the full brunt of the comment. It’s playful yet elusive.

  • “Oh please, you wish.”
  • “In your dreams!”
  • “Catch me if you can.”
  • “Keep dreaming.”
  • “That’s cute.”
  • “I’d love to see you try.”
  • “Dream on.”
  • “We’ll see about that.”
  • “Big talk for someone who’s never tried.”
  • “You wish.”

The Polite Yet Firm Rebuff

A polite and firm rebuff leaves no room for misinterpretation and keeps interactions respectful.

  • “I’m not comfortable with that.”
  • “Let’s keep it professional.”
  • “Not appropriate.”
  • “Please respect my boundaries.”
  • “I’d prefer if you didn’t.”
  • “That’s not the way to talk to me.”
  • “I appreciate your enthusiasm, but no.”
  • “Please, don’t.”
  • “Respect goes both ways.”
  • “Let’s not go there.”

When You Want to Keep Things Light

Sometimes, you just want to keep the atmosphere light-hearted and fun, without diving too deep into the comment.

  • “Oh, you’re funny.”
  • “Wow, bold move!”
  • “Oh really? Interesting.”
  • “Good to know.”
  • “You’re something else.”
  • “Ha, sure thing.”
  • “I see where you’re coming from.”
  • “Noted!”
  • “You’re quite the character.”
  • “Keep dreaming.”

Things to Keep in Mind

Remember, not every comment deserves or requires a response. Always gauge the situation and the individual you’re communicating with. Maintain respect and boundaries, and ensure your responses align with your comfort levels and the context of your relationship.

In conclusion, handling “The things I’d do to you” comments can be tricky but manageable. Whether you choose humor, sarcasm, assertiveness, or gentleness, your response should reflect your comfort and boundaries. The key is to stay true to yourself while navigating these exchanges, ensuring respect and clarity in every conversation. Stay confident and remember—you’ve got this!