Best Comebacks When A Girl Says You Have Hoes

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Sarah Koch


You’re casually chatting with a girl you’re interested in, and out of nowhere, she drops the bomb – “You probably have hoes.” Now, you’re left wondering, “Wait, what just happened?” This post is for you.

Let’s face it, navigating modern dating and communication can feel like traversing a landmine field. One wrong move, and BOOM – you’re left with a ticking time bomb in your hands (sometimes quite literally, like in this scenario). You need to disarm the situation, and fast. And that, my friend, is where we come in.

What follows are responses that can turn this awkward moment into a memorable interaction (for the better, of course). Our arsenal includes wit, humor, sincerity, and a dash of sarcasm. So gear up!

Playful Responses

“Oh, absolutely. I’m like the gardener of a botanical garden.”

Playfulness is your best friend here. If you’re confident enough to turn a potentially tricky comment into a fun banter, you’re golden.

  • “You caught me. I moonlight as a gardener.”
  • “Why stop at hoes? I’ve got rakes and shovels too.”

Funny Comebacks

“Nope, just a lawn gnome. They’re much less demanding.”

Humor can diffuse any tense situation. The trick is to ensure your joke lands well and isn’t taken seriously.

  • “Hoes? Nah, I’m barely keeping up with my gnome.”
  • “Hoes are high maintenance. I’m more of a cactus person.”

Genuine Responses

“Why would you think that? I’m genuinely interested in you.”

Sometimes, it’s best to cut through the jokes and get real, especially if you want to deepen your connection.

  • “Is that what it seems like? Because I promise, it’s not the case.”
  • “I didn’t realize I was giving that impression.”

Sarcastic Replies

“Oh definitely, I was voted ‘Pimp of the Year.'”

Sarcasm is a double-edged sword – wield it carefully. Perfect for those who enjoy a bit of mischievous banter.

  • “Yeah, I should probably get my ‘Pimp of the Year’ award framed.”
  • “Funny, I missed the ceremony for my supposed harem.”

Deflective Responses

“How about we talk about something more interesting, like our favorite pizza toppings?”

Sometimes, the best way to handle a situation is to steer the conversation in another direction.

  • “That’s a good one. Anyway, pineapple on pizza?”
  • “Nice try. So, any movie recommendations?”

Reassuring Replies

“I can assure you, I’m only interested in getting to know you.”

Convincing reassurance can help calm any underlying insecurities that prompted the comment.

  • “Nope, just you.”
  • “You have my full attention, I promise.”

Witty Responses

“I don’t have hoes, but I do have a wicked sense of humor.”

Combining wit with humor makes for a memorable reply that’s sure to impress.

  • “Hoes? I’m more into gardening lone daffodils.”
  • “If only. The maintenance fees would be through the roof.”

Honest Replies

“Honestly, that’s not me. I’m here to connect, not to entertain multiple people.”

Sometimes, honesty really is the best policy, especially in the age of virtual facades.

  • “I can see why you’d think that, but no, it’s just not my style.”
  • “If I gave you that impression, I’m truly sorry.”

Reflective Answers

“Why does it seem like that? I want to make sure I’m not giving that vibe.”

Reflecting her comment back to her invites deeper conversation and shows you’re willing to engage.

  • “I wonder why you’d say that. How can I make you feel otherwise?”
  • “What made you think that? I’d love to change your mind.”

Confident Comebacks

“I’ve got better taste than that – I’m here talking to you, aren’t I?”

Confidence without arrogance can captivate and reassure her simultaneously.

  • “I must have struck a chord. I’m right here, intrigued by you.”
  • “I’d rather focus on quality over quantity – that’s why I’m here with you.”

How to Reply to a Girl

Navigating this kind of comment takes a sprinkle of confidence, a dollop of humor, and a dash of sincerity. The key is to show that you’re unfazed by the remark, yet still engaged in the conversation. Here’s how you can respond gracefully:

  • Understand the tone: Gauge if she’s joking, testing you, or genuinely curious.
  • Stay cool: Reacting defensively can be counterproductive.
  • Be playful yet sincere: Show you’re serious about her without taking the bait seriously.

Here are some replies you might use:

  • “Is that what it seems like? I’ll try not to give off such player vibes!”
  • “I understand why you’d ask that, but it’s not really my style.”
  • “Funny, you’re the only one I’m focusing on right now.”
  • “Let’s put it this way, they can wait – you’re my priority.”
  • “I’ve had bad experiences with lawn tools. How about you?”

How to Reply to a Guy

While our main focus is on replies to girls, let’s dedicate a section to the fantastic ladies, shall we? When a guy hits you with a similar comment, here’s how to turn the situation around:

  • Maintain your poise: Don’t let him ruffle your feathers.
  • Witty equality: Dish it back with wit and charm.
  • Keep the upper hand: Show you’re not intimidated and steer the conversation.

Here are 10 replies you might use:

  • “Hoes? I’ve got a whole gardening club.”
  • “Only in your dreams, buddy.”
  • “Please, I can barely handle myself.”
  • “I left my hoe at home, but thanks for asking.”
  • “How original. Tell me more.”
  • “Nice try. Now, tell me your deepest, darkest secret.”
  • “Good one! Now, how about we focus on this convo?”
  • “Flattering, but I’m a one-man woman.”
  • “Are you projecting there?”
  • “Cute. But no, not my thing.”

Why Communication Matters

Let’s step back and reflect on the bigger picture here. This seemingly trivial comment – “You have hoes” – is more than a quip. It’s a moment that tests your communication skills, your ability to handle curveballs, and your capacity to connect genuinely.

Effective communication isn’t just about the words you use but how you deliver them. It’s about understanding context, reading emotions, and responding in a manner that fosters connection rather than division. Whether in dating or any other realm of life, mastering the art of response is crucial.

Consider these tips:

  • Active Listening: Truly hear what the other person is saying. Sometimes, a comment about “hoes” might be a disguised plea for reassurance.
  • Empathy: Put yourself in their shoes. Why would they say that? Understanding the ‘why’ can guide your ‘how’ in response.
  • Patience: Don’t rush to reply. A pause can be powerful and allows you to recover your composure.
  • Confidence: Stand your ground. Confidence, when combined with genuineness, can transform a conversation.

Pop Culture References

Ever watched a rom-com where the lead fumbles this exact scenario, only to redeem themselves spectacularly? Think Hugh Grant in Notting Hill. Awkward comments are par for the course, but how they bounce back is what steals the audience’s heart.

Channel your inner movie-star grace. Remember, laughter and charm go a long way.

Check out these examples:

  • Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice: Sometimes a bit of reserved confidence can take the day.
  • Lorelai Gilmore from Gilmore Girls: Quick wit wrapped in humor.
  • Chandler Bing from Friends: Sarcastically endearing.

The best interactions stem from a mix of these traits, so take note and act accordingly.

When To Pull Back

A significant point here is understanding when to pull back. If the conversation veers into uncomfortable territory, it’s crucial to recognize signals and gracefully exit the dialogue.


  • Not every comment needs a comeback.
  • It’s okay to set boundaries.
  • If in doubt, prioritize respect and understanding.

Things To Keep In Mind

As we wrap up, here are some golden rules to keep in mind:

Responses Should Align with Your Personality

Don’t force a response that feels unnatural. Authenticity is more attractive than any witty comeback.

Read the Room

Consider the context before crafting your reply. The tone, environment, and emotional state of the conversation play crucial roles.

Aim for Connection

Remember that the goal is to foster understanding and connection, not merely to win a verbal spar.

Stay Respectful

Even in jest, maintain respect for the other person. Sarcasm can quickly turn sour if not handled with care.

So there you have it! Armed with these replies, you’re now ready to tackle the “hoe” comment head-on. Remember, it’s not just what you say but how you say it. Stay cool, stay confident, and let your charm shine through. Happy conversing!